Whats E key? Think about “Do-Re-Mi” The “Mi” something like that. and we are not talking about Octave yet.
But just watching the video (the girls in Ellen show) itself, I learnt something about behavior.
You notice the natural adrenaline rush in Sophie (Black Hair) thats not the typical showmanship we expect. Cos she’s all over the place. Compare that to the little cousin, All nice and prim, nice figure, nice hair, nice features.
But being children Sophie has very good showmanship, she can perform (sing, react co-inherently), laughs and really bring much joy.
Look at Rosie, very prim and proper, and obviously brought up with much instruction on how to behave in crowd/audience. Part of the factor might be that she is only 5, so is pretty shy. But you notice at one point, she actually attempts to “hit” Sophie to get her to calm down.
Amazing.
Guess like they say, desired behavior for appropriate situation.
That brought me to another recent incident, was teaching a young boy whos turning 4. Very outspoken. Then move on to another child who is older, smart, but really quiet. Such stark contrast.
Then it hit me, being smart has its advantage. But being outspoken has even GREATER advantage, cos afterall, the society is more keen about hearing from you rather than seeing your works isnt it?
So parents, dont shut your child up when he or she ask too much “Why”. Get them books, help them to figure out the answers. At least they speak. Love it that they speak.
And I’m glad Nicki Minaj encourage the children, specifically gave the children the instruction to put books first, music second.
Finished reading the book “More Than A Chat”, felt its a really good book.
I realize that there are many perspective to Counseling. People’s conception of it.
In-fact if you noticed, some of my previous TOTD is from the same book as well.
Happen to pick out one story that I do think is pretty applicable in my life, and I wanna share it here.
Do drop by at the National Library or enquire with the REACH Family Services Centre on how to obtain the book.
Story 7 – A New Lens “You become what you think about.” – Earl Nightingale
More Than A Chat: Real-life Accounts of Lives Empowered through Counselling, REACH Community Services Society
Stepping off the escalator that carried throngs of commuters out of the MRT station, Jit Meng found himself wedged in the midst of weekend shoppers sauntering up and down the makeshift covered walkway. A couple, deep in conversation, was exchanging intimate gestures as they walked past. A group of young girls was chirping away gleefully, breaking out in occasional raucous laughter. Lost in the crowd, Jit Meng was pierced with the familiar jab of loneliness, an old acquaintance that had plagued him for most of his life. However, not too long ago, he had learnt a new way of relating to this acquaintance. He remained himself of the intimate friendship and kinship he was privileged to have.
“It is completely fine to be alone,” he reassured himself.
At home in the crowd, he strode on with lightness, making his way leisurely towards a shopping mall. His gaze then fell on a girl sitting on her father’s shoulders. He involuntarily greeted her with a smile and the girl returned his smile with a beam of delight. A flush of warm feeling filled his heart. Yes, he could relish in the good things the world offered and express gratitude for the good things in his life once again. But his countenance and outlook were not like this one year ago when his mind had been filled with only negative thoughts.
Negative Thoughts and Feelings
Jit Meng had just returned to Singapore after spending three years furthering his studies in Canada. He was 28. He found a job as a customer service executive in an information technology company. Though gainfully employed and surrounded by supportive parents, he felt the world he lived in was hostile, where evil seemed to triumph over good. Injustice reigned in him as he pondered over why life did not deal him the fair share of good things he rightly deserved. Questions about why others seemed to have it all but not him loomed over his head. He was cynical about the seemingly good, and pessimistic about what life had to offer. The negativity was so deep-seated that he was not even aware that it was eating him away.
“These men and women were not deterred by the social stigma associated with counseling when they came forward to seek help. As Jit Meng, one of the featured clients, would say, “A desperate man is not a self-conscious person.” Wei Qiang, in another featured story, agree to seek counseling for he recognized that an issue bigger than his pride was at stake. What was common was that these clients were all motivated by the possibility of seeing positive changes in their perspectives or relationships.”
- More Than A Chat: Real-life Accounts of Lives Empowered through Counselling, REACH Community Services Society
by the possibility of seeing positive changes in their perspectives or relationships.
“How would you describe counseling? This question was posed to the counsellors. ..
Another depicts counseling as extending a helping hand to individuals in resolving their issues. At the end of the counseling session, the counselee would feel heard, accepted and leave with the hope that he now has a better grip of his issues.
While family and friends may play the role of a counsellor, what makes professional counseling different from any other conversation is the process. Professional counseling is a facilitated process. It is more deliberate and directional than an informal chat between friends or family members. Trained counsellors are equipped with skills that enable them to elicit thoughts and feelings, facilitate self-discovery and generate solutions from counselees in a manner that lay persons are not adept to do. ”
- More Than A Chat: Real-life Accounts of Lives Empowered through Counselling, REACH Community Services Society
.. and leave with the hope that he now has a better grip of his issues.
I know I’m really looking forward to meeting, teaching the child when I would visualize my speech/conversation in the shower or even when I’m randomly walking on the street.
It’s liken to a teenager looking forward to, rehearsing the sentences to say in-preparation of meeting that pop star idol.
It’s liken to an entrepreneur going-over his pitch for that very important business meeting.
It’s almost like a man rehearsing his speech for the marriage proposal.
It’s not stress, similar to stress, but this is with passion, with joy. You know what I mean? Ever felt things that way?
–
I now know why my mind demands sleep into 10am though I start falling asleep around 1am+.
Because at 9pm+ 10pm, I am still in an alert state of mind, as appropriate for teaching.
Teaching is no mundane or routine job, but it requires one to think on the spot n draw immediate responses to tackle the situation.
That, is something I want to do.
On another note, that “thinking on the spot” was the one thing that I realize about teaching when I was waiting on tables at a hotel in Bugis.
Why cant people have greater respect for others and just listen to them talk. Understand their point of view rather than be calculative and always want to win?
Why?
I hate it especially when its from people I give respect to. Nope, not even that they have to earn it. People that naturally have the respect that is bestowed upon them.
I’m talking about my ex-boss and my tuition girl’s mother specifically.
Anyway, “I feel so small.. n defenseless when in a verbal conflict.. haiz..”
Small and defenseless, seldom on the offensive side.
Thats the thing about me, I dont like to be in a conflict. I believe in harmony, I believe in talking things through, putting things on the table so that issues can be iron out. I dont have to win. I dont have to benefit fully. I want harmony, I want peace.
I choose not to come back with a rebuttal, but rather listen, I’ll let them talk, back down think about what the other person say, pick out my own flaws based on what I heard.
People wouldnt agree with my silence, but well, guess thats just how different people handle different situation?
Then again, in that way, the true character of the opposite party is revealed.
Cos when you choose not to get involve, the more the other person will carry on to argue their point, the more the other person will want to be in the beneficial position and “win” the conflict.
And you will see all the ugliness spilling out. How pushy the person is, the hidden agenda within, how stingy and calculative, how overbearing, all their values and principles, they are just laid on the table for you to see.
Actually that applies for myself too. My actions after the end of the conversation is a sign of who I am as a person.
If I think you are right, I would stay around, if I think you are not worth it, you probably wont be seeing me much.
So to the lady from Shen Zheng and the guy from Taiwan, you two won the verbal conflict, but you lost someone who is passionate of her craft.
What was your last quarrel about? Did you win or did you lose? Did you win or did you lose?
It's been said that a person without passion is as good as a walking zombie, I strongly believe in that. Passion gives a person life and makes a person unique. I am passionate about communicating with people. I am passionate about making things work. Do you work to live, or live to work? | Email: avnjl(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)sg | Follow me on Twitter: @avnjl | Chat me up at skype: amandavalng
It's been said that a person without passion is as good as a walking zombie, I strongly believe in that. Passion gives a person life and makes a person unique. I am passionate about communicating with people. I am passionate about making things work. Do you work to live, or live to work? | Email: avnjl(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)sg | Follow me on Twitter: @avnjl | Chat me up at skype: amandavalng 
