Archive for the ‘Runderstandings’ Category
Finished reading the book “More Than A Chat”, felt its a really good book.
I realize that there are many perspective to Counseling. People’s conception of it.
In-fact if you noticed, some of my previous TOTD is from the same book as well.
Happen to pick out one story that I do think is pretty applicable in my life, and I wanna share it here.
Do drop by at the National Library or enquire with the REACH Family Services Centre on how to obtain the book.
Story 7 – A New Lens
“You become what you think about.” – Earl Nightingale
More Than A Chat: Real-life Accounts of Lives Empowered through Counselling, REACH Community Services Society
Stepping off the escalator that carried throngs of commuters out of the MRT station, Jit Meng found himself wedged in the midst of weekend shoppers sauntering up and down the makeshift covered walkway. A couple, deep in conversation, was exchanging intimate gestures as they walked past. A group of young girls was chirping away gleefully, breaking out in occasional raucous laughter. Lost in the crowd, Jit Meng was pierced with the familiar jab of loneliness, an old acquaintance that had plagued him for most of his life. However, not too long ago, he had learnt a new way of relating to this acquaintance. He remained himself of the intimate friendship and kinship he was privileged to have.
“It is completely fine to be alone,” he reassured himself.
At home in the crowd, he strode on with lightness, making his way leisurely towards a shopping mall. His gaze then fell on a girl sitting on her father’s shoulders. He involuntarily greeted her with a smile and the girl returned his smile with a beam of delight. A flush of warm feeling filled his heart. Yes, he could relish in the good things the world offered and express gratitude for the good things in his life once again. But his countenance and outlook were not like this one year ago when his mind had been filled with only negative thoughts.
Negative Thoughts and Feelings
Jit Meng had just returned to Singapore after spending three years furthering his studies in Canada. He was 28. He found a job as a customer service executive in an information technology company. Though gainfully employed and surrounded by supportive parents, he felt the world he lived in was hostile, where evil seemed to triumph over good. Injustice reigned in him as he pondered over why life did not deal him the fair share of good things he rightly deserved. Questions about why others seemed to have it all but not him loomed over his head. He was cynical about the seemingly good, and pessimistic about what life had to offer. The negativity was so deep-seated that he was not even aware that it was eating him away.
Happened to be watching Channel News Asia and the clip on Titanic’s artifact’s auction came on.
This baker’s hat belonged to William Hine, a third baker on the Titanic. His name is embroidered on the brim.
When I saw this hat, I was like “Oh its so puffy.” and then “Why would anyone wanna bid for that?”
Well, the person can be a very wealthy and influential Baker or a big Somebody in the Pastry industry.
But what really strike me was, “Perhaps its about having a piece of History.”
or just having experienced a part of it.
Its no big deal. In-fact (having experienced a part of it) is not a need, its just a want.
“These men and women were not deterred by the social stigma associated with counseling when they came forward to seek help. As Jit Meng, one of the featured clients, would say, “A desperate man is not a self-conscious person.” Wei Qiang, in another featured story, agree to seek counseling for he recognized that an issue bigger than his pride was at stake. What was common was that these clients were all motivated by the possibility of seeing positive changes in their perspectives or relationships.”
- More Than A Chat: Real-life Accounts of Lives Empowered through Counselling, REACH Community Services Society
by the possibility of seeing positive changes in their perspectives or relationships.
Thought of The Day
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda
Was just looking at a status update of an ex-colleague.
She updated it saying “.. a leap in my career and I’m grateful for this.. ” Something along the line of having been at the bottom for this long and things are finally changing.
That felt like a slap to my face initially. WHAT!! even she as an under-achiever* is doing better than you! What are you doing with your career!!
*okay, when in the context of comparison, one tends to put another down.
I feel really lousy for a while..
Then it came on to me, it isn’t exactly that I’m not moving forward, “a giant step in career? a giant step in life’s understanding.”
As I began to notice the high-flyers around me, I gain a different perspective.. Yes, they have like perhaps thousands giants leap in their career. They have perhaps tons of money in their bank. They have perhaps travelled all over the world to work.
What do I have?
I have a little bit more time to do what I want compared to them. I can start and maintain a relationship in a country *its a challenge to settle down if one is traveling around the world to do their job. I have more joy than stress.
Guess that’s the difference I have, my development, my giant leap stands in understanding how life can be like more than just money or paper chase.
No doubt money is still important. Being educated is important.
Just another segment of being a person.
A different leap in life.
Thought of the day
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda
Sometimes, the teacher that teaches the underprivileged classes feels the most left out. 
Cos everything is geared towards helping average or very good students to score, what about the others?
Topics that seems so general, can be entirely so new, so elusive to them.
Do you know, the world of their mind is actually way smaller than our comprehension, n they have their set of problems & issues too..
What feminism? A more trendy tudung compared to a traditional tudung is just “Tudung” to them.
They are not mindless. You just need to reach their level, you just need to know they are a seed too. You just need to try. You.
“If You Teach Me How”
Good Classes, Good Grades, Certificates are important, but, being average can live too.
More than just helping them to see results. My job is to help them to live.
Live their life.
Different.
Thought of The Day
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda
P/S: Mostly, this doesn’t apply in the Singapore Education System, because it doesn’t show in the grades.
Care for them and they will change. Sure, but not fast enough to show in the grades.
“that I’m a fine weather friend to many, and that they have their own few, chosen, all-weather friend. That I dont have to be one of them.”
Thought of the day
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda
I know I’m really looking forward to meeting, teaching the child when I would visualize my speech/conversation in the shower or even when I’m randomly walking on the street.
It’s liken to a teenager looking forward to, rehearsing the sentences to say in-preparation of meeting that pop star idol.
It’s liken to an entrepreneur going-over his pitch for that very important business meeting.
It’s almost like a man rehearsing his speech for the marriage proposal.
It’s not stress, similar to stress, but this is with passion, with joy. You know what I mean? Ever felt things that way?
–
I now know why my mind demands sleep into 10am though I start falling asleep around 1am+.
Because at 9pm+ 10pm, I am still in an alert state of mind, as appropriate for teaching.
Teaching is no mundane or routine job, but it requires one to think on the spot n draw immediate responses to tackle the situation.
That, is something I want to do.
On another note, that “thinking on the spot” was the one thing that I realize about teaching when I was waiting on tables at a hotel in Bugis.
Thought of The Day
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda
I quit! again.
I quit being bullied. By bosses that I gave respect to.
Anyway, speaking of which, went for an interview very recently. That interview actually came by as a curve ball.
Cos on 8th Feb 2012, it struck me, enough of trying out. Just forget it and build up on what I already have. So, I wanna be a lecturer in the future.
I was chatting with my girlfriend the night before, she directed me to the Careers@gov website. I looked around, and cant really find a category that I specifically wanna explore.
Then I stray back into the teaching category. I saw lecturer positions of schools, and what’s required was PhD and Masters or some Honors Degree.
At that point I was abit sadden, or bored, cos the idea of returning back into the government sector was a little…
So I got off the website.
Then the next day, it caught me, “Hey, I can do that, I can lecture, not necessary with the government sector, I’m sure something can be worked out. The pay is bad for now, but I can slowly study my way through and be a lecturer in the near future.”
And that is something that I can visualize myself doing. Like I can see the end point. Which is very assuring to me.
So, before I made that decision, my friend referred me to a huge advertising and media company. I was tempted, cos it is stable.
Went for the interview, not exactly my kind of thing. I would love to do the analysis part, but not so much on the creative side. So told the interviewer that I’m 70% confident. Didnt waste each other’s time.
I’m now back on track.
I’m happy, and I think thats really important.
Life is what you want it to be.
Thanks for coming by
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda
Why cant people have greater respect for others and just listen to them talk. Understand their point of view rather than be calculative and always want to win?
Why?
I hate it especially when its from people I give respect to. Nope, not even that they have to earn it. People that naturally have the respect that is bestowed upon them.
I’m talking about my ex-boss and my tuition girl’s mother specifically.
Anyway, “I feel so small.. n defenseless when in a verbal conflict.. haiz..”
Small and defenseless, seldom on the offensive side.
Thats the thing about me, I dont like to be in a conflict. I believe in harmony, I believe in talking things through, putting things on the table so that issues can be iron out. I dont have to win. I dont have to benefit fully. I want harmony, I want peace.
I choose not to come back with a rebuttal, but rather listen, I’ll let them talk, back down think about what the other person say, pick out my own flaws based on what I heard.
People wouldnt agree with my silence, but well, guess thats just how different people handle different situation?
Then again, in that way, the true character of the opposite party is revealed.
Cos when you choose not to get involve, the more the other person will carry on to argue their point, the more the other person will want to be in the beneficial position and “win” the conflict.
And you will see all the ugliness spilling out. How pushy the person is, the hidden agenda within, how stingy and calculative, how overbearing, all their values and principles, they are just laid on the table for you to see.
Actually that applies for myself too. My actions after the end of the conversation is a sign of who I am as a person.
If I think you are right, I would stay around, if I think you are not worth it, you probably wont be seeing me much.
So to the lady from Shen Zheng and the guy from Taiwan, you two won the verbal conflict, but you lost someone who is passionate of her craft.
What was your last quarrel about? Did you win or did you lose? Did you win or did you lose?
Thanks for coming by
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda
I had one too many coffee with friends lately…
Male friends specifically…
But it is also these few meetups that taught me something about myself.
Hmm…
Do you remember how when we were young there’s this saying amongst young teenagers (with raging hormones) that goes “he’s talking to you, is he interested in you?”
It's been said that a person without passion is as good as a walking zombie, I strongly believe in that. Passion gives a person life and makes a person unique. I am passionate about communicating with people. I am passionate about making things work. Do you work to live, or live to work? | Email: avnjl(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)sg | Follow me on Twitter: @avnjl | Chat me up at skype: amandavalng 
