Was just wandering through the mall waiting for my bff when I saw plenty of single guys (or at least they were strolling alone). N it came on to me that there are actually a lot of eligible guys with good character, it’s just that there isn’t enough efforts or sources to get to know them. That some of the available channels are sadly abused and misused.
There was a guy whom put up a picture of penguin (or even another of Tom Cruise) as profile picture. They said if they put up their real photo, no ladies would respond to them. I felt that is very sad. Not sad as in that that is how females are, but that they know there is an issue but they are not tackling the root of it, they are just dealing with the symptoms or it.
Here’s what I think of it, find a more acceptable picture. Find a flattering angle or a zoomed out photo, or a group photo. We are superficial, sure, but there’s only this much superficial-ness about it. After that, it’s acceptance and nobody cares.
At the same time, since one knows one isn’t pleasing enough (in the looks department), do something about it. Watch the food intake, go workout, change habits, take up a new habit, stop with the excuses. Is not looks, physic related to health of a person? Do one not want to benefit from the benefits of being healthy? Although it’s true that skinny people would also be prone to heredity illness.
Acceptance is not necessary a good thing. Sometimes blind acceptance or ignorance becomes an esteem problem.
I believe in marketing, in package.
There’s a Chinese saying, “人靠衣装，佛靠金装” loosely translated as clothes maketh a man, gold composes Buddha.
Why is there even such a saying, because that’s how it is. Deal with it.
Probably the weather, probably the days ahead, probably the mood swing, probably…..
Don’t know, Dont really care. Just know that I need to snap out of it.
The best way to, is to write to myself, I realise. Reflective exercises are always good. To be set on path, to know and be crystal clear. To Re-centre (as google maps would say) To just be happy and alive. Live life…
Okay, I’m just blabbering already.
Think Amanda is gloomy because its time for change again. I know right… no one likes change. At least not me. Or you know I’m way too comfortable here.
I can still remember the initial year when I came, didnt really share that I was abroad, didnt really reveal where I’m working at – more for the privacy of the children actually. Now, to the stage where I would share photos of location at times. Openly tag my home and the nearby mall location. Its been a blissful coming-to-4-years.
Bringing along the need to come up with Character Reference letter and searching for a new job. *sulk*
ok ok enough of being gloomy.
The plans ahead.
I dont know actually. Was suppose to stay on for one more year, but due to changes in certain polices and recent events, just felt that its time to go. To leave here, or at least the school.
I think I might come back to Jakarta to teach. Its a good place – for an expat like me.
I really learnt tons about myself after being here. The beauty of being alone. The tireness of flying alternate weekends at times. The beauty of sleeping 10hours 2 weekdays a week during the PMS season. Understanding the effects of PMS on the body. Understanding what keeps me rooted. Understanding what I want. Understanding that money is not everything.
Which reminded me. I was undecided about whether to stay and finished that 1 year or work that 1 more year in some other countries.
After that recent scam, I know it is imperative that I find love and settle down, soon. Was telling myself I should go back to Singapore and be available there. Thats the way to be attached and settle down isnt it. But deep in my heart, I was like but back in Singapore, the payscale will not be on par with the current I’m getting…
Then I reminded myself. Money is a powerbase. If you can ignore it, it will not be used against you. You can be set free to do the things that you want to do.
That was a good answer. I feel.
and obviously, by going back to Singapore, it doesnt necessary mean I will be able to “find love and settle down”
But well, It is still one step.
So… 1 more year.. to go or not to go?
Dont know, dont want to know, just keep sending resume I guess.
Though it’s kinda expected (yar, not surprising abt the fake identity bank account registration), it’s still painful to face it.
Spread the word!!!! Get rid of those irritants!!
Oh, n someone asked abt the LINE Account thing:
The one in black suit is the current one that he is using. Confirm is targeting those 35 and above.
Thanks for coming by
6 Dec 2016
So, after this post was published, much girls contacted me, Just thought its a good idea to share some of the more active after actions or what I responded to one of the girls.
Thank God you didn’t transfer any funds to him at all. Please do not do that. I believe that he can do nothing about your account number. If I’m not wrong, unless you’ve provided authorization to the bank, the bank is not authorised to release any funds from your account.
1. I suggest you change a bank account number if its within your ability.
2. Inform bank via phone call or a visit to tell them that you did not authorise and should not under any circumstances allow any movement with the next few month (except pre-arranged giro arrangement).
The truth of the matter is, this photo you have, Is definitely not the real guy you are dealing with. They basically screengrab from other guys (even reverse search on google does not show up). One of them even had the opportunity to chat with guys that supposedly worked in the same company, his hoaxed was even able to supply photos of wedding ceremonies that he supposedly attended. They probably went around an collected an archive of life-style photos.
I’ve been in active conversation with plenty of us, being-scammed-ladies to know this. Even the Hong Kong police indicated “Do not send me anymore photos!!” in his email.
(She asked for my hoax’s account number)
They have plenty of account numbers to go around.
I personally transferred to 2 accounts, both were from different HSBC account. Was pending to transfer to the 3rd account when I got my verification from Lippo Securities and decided to called him out bluff. (when I asked him whose account those were, he said its the finance department that arranged it, he isn’t sure).
There was another lady, transferred to 4 different accounts, 3 from HSBC and 1 from another China bank.
There was a single mom (yes, even single mom, they would scam) its another China account too.
So it doesn’t matter the name of account holder or account number.
To help you verify, you may email the company he says he is representing to verify his identity, to find out if he works for that company. That was what I did. (I know it feels as though its distrust, but no. its protecting yourself. You owe it to yourself to figure out)
As you have noticed from my blog, my policy looked really legitimate too. Unfortuantely, it is not. Lippo securities cleanly deny any relationship with my scammer.
I was supposed to fly to Hong Kong to meet him. He managed to postpone and not meet me saying its part of the contract obligation.
The other lady, he was suppose to fly in to SG to meet her, she went to airport to pick him on the actual day, waited for 3 hours, no show. His “colleague” later contacted her to say he was held back by immigration.
The lady with the 4 account numbers, the 4-times transfer were for: 1. Initial investment. 2. Tax payable 3. Stamp and duty fee 4. Overseas outflow fee. – Just sharing how they will cheat you.
So please don’t send him any money. Cease contact is the best option.
I thought I should carry on chatting with him to stall time for the police and get more live information. It took longer than expected time for the police to respond. Its pointless and it is just conditioning our heart to not trust man (worthy man, included).
Again, please don’t send him any money. Cease contact is the best option.
I hope its not too late for you, that you havent already transferred money to the scammer.
There are a few channels for you to report to should you be a victim.
1. Your local (specific to country) police.
2. The country your supposedly scammed policy/investment company is from. – IF its from Hong Kong like in my case, (1) Hong Kong Police and the (2) Securities Future Commission.
3. Your local bank (or the bank you’ve transferred money from)
4. The receiving bank (or the bank you’ve transferred money to)
Do not suffer in silence. Lodge a report. Do something about it. Its important to have paperwork, Leave a trail. In a way, that helps you should there be chances that you could get your money back (although its really low chances since its voluntary transfer).
As I said on a facebook post, “Whats wrong with the world? One human being scamming another human being.”…
We are all born with different deck of cards. Its what we do with it that matters.
thanks for coming by,
P/S: Its really disgusting when I see my scammer’s Line account profile photo changing from one to another. Its like using that same number, changing 3 different identities, I wonder scamming how many girls.
PP/S: Its pretty disgusting too, when scammer use a similar userid on 2 separate occasions to message (on the dating site) me. Its either they think I’m really dumb, or they are just out to remind me of how dumb I was.
so handsome right!!
I know, its like perfect match with me isnt it. One handsome, one pretty.
Well, Love is blind they say. and I am so blind too.
So, I met him from an online dating site and exchange LINE contacts. Didnt really spend time chatting with him initially, cos im not a fan of LINE app, felt theres too much spam of advertising and since majority of my contacts are on watsapp, it didnt matter.
So he introduced himself as 周宇航 (Zhou Yu Hang), from Hong Kong, handles VIP customers, didnt exactly say which company, I thought that was just for his own internet security. DIdnt bother to pursue and ask. He even shared about his annual pay being certain huge amount, drives a BM 6series because its more safe. He said his English wasnt very good. shared that he is from Xiamen
We chat for extended period over the days.
He expressed his intention of starting a relationship with me.
The whole idea that at our age we cannot afford to fool around “毕竟嘛，我们这个年龄感情我们是玩不来也伤不起。”, that he felt I’m a nice girl (yes I am), who is filial (yes I am) and was really pushing to start a relationship.
I asked why not HK girls, he looks decent, what happened to previous girlfriend? He shared that HK girls were full of themselves and materialistic, I googled and well, results does point towards that side. Shared saying never to spilt that quarrel is a norm between couples (I bet he will use that in all his relationship conversation) “因为一份爱情肯定要经历碰碰的只有互相支持理解信任才可以度过这些没有一份爱情是不会经历这些碰碰吵吵闹闹的。” I said to at least meet, for all I know he could be a scam, he could be yet another imposter. I argued I need to find out more about his values and principles. He said he felt that I am the one, he doesnt want to miss out. Internally, I was telling myself, he seems nice enough, stable, and well, I’m at work, its difficult for him to apply for leave. We are lovers separated by fate. (my foot).
It was weird that he didnt have a phone that has internet access or with camera functions. I felt that perhaps in his line of work, it didnt really matter. My bff calls him “dodgy guy” straight up (yar, she doesnt remembers their name, but usually gives them label. helps relate better).
Perhaps because I was lonely, perhaps because he is good with words. Perhaps because his timing was consistent – wake up at 8am+, prepare for meeting around 9:30am+, 12pm+ lunch 1pm+ noon nap, 5:30pm+ get ready to go home, 7pm+ reach home from dinner and stroll, chat till 10pm+ or whenever one is tired and wants to sleep. Saturdays he would sleep in and go hangout with friends, Sunday go gym and lunch or dinner with friends. It was stable, routine and typical of a working adult, ready for next phase of life. I bought in. I was engaged emotionally. I was committed.
So then came the night when he said he had something to share.
That it would do our future well and its a good thing for his career in the company. Saying that since it is internal news within the company, I am not to tell anyone else.
and so begins the investment pitching. That some items on the market are showing symptoms, that this form of investment is calculated based on the 33 groups of shares on the market, bet on it dipping or rising. He went on to explain some technical stuff. Adds on that the company he works for received internal news saying that initial report submission indicates certain trends ahead. That this is a golden opportunity to buy in.
It just so happens that there is this VIP customer that he handles had migrated recently and wanted to close his account. He had not closed the account in time. His superior says to look for someone trustworthy to takeover his position and put in money. Since this is an internal arrangement, it cannot be his family members or close friends. and guess whom he proposed to his superior? JAng Jang Jang! His girlfriend in Singapore.
Me being me, asked him, “All you want is for me to sign right? But I dont have a lot.” then he said, “its okay, take a look at the policy. its 40-80 times return. its okay one, no problem, confirm profit. Its for the good of the two of us.” I protested saying “I dont have so much cash. maybe just a few thousand.” I added, “paying a few thousand to see through a person is very cheap.”
His policy (representing Hong Kong Lippo Securities) even seemed legitimate. I said I couldnt sign through my phone, how, he say its okay, this is an internal arrangement, he could sign on my behalf. So I proceed. 22nd July, I did the first transfer. He even asked for screen shots of transfer.
The next weekend, he was out with his friends. It was Sunday afternoon and he asked, “What do woman like?” He explained that since this investment opportunity was granted by his Superior, he would like to visit him at home to express his gratitude. I felt that was legitimate, courteous of him. He said buying a gift for the superior might be alittle awkward, so buying a gift for the wife would be better. So he concluded to buy Bird’s Nest. Thats a great idea. Its sincere and definitely not cheap. He went ahead.
and he came back that night and said the Superior’s wife is very happy with the gift, the Superior propose to increase investment with no further condition.
I protest and said I have no intention to increase. He pushed, because he felt its difficult, awkward to reject his Superior since the Superior was that kind and takes care of him. Me being committed and all. Succumbed… 1st August, I transferred the 2nd amount of money.
I asked him whos account were those that I transferred to? He said he didnt know, it was instructed by finance department. I thought that was fine, since each department does what they had to and it is an internal arrangement afterall.
Initially wanted to fly over to celebrate his birthday during the 5th Aug weekend, but because of the investment, the contract indicates that I (beneficiary) am not suppose to meet him (gurantor). I was very upset and said if I have known, I would not have invested. He argued saying the investment would end on the 10th, promised to meet me on the weekend of the 12th.
So came the following week. 10th Aug. We closed the bid and its time to cash out the profit. I was contacted by a Mr Chen from their finance department. He explained that the investment had a 38 times return, that I was required to pay a 6% tax figure before I could cash out the profit. I was half happy and half in doubt. I asked him to tell me my account number since the profit would be credited to my account. He said he wants to verify with me my account number, asking me, instead to tell him my account number, I insisted, I want him to tell me. He said it was procedural for me to tell him my account. So I told the first 9 digit, and I said for him to tell me the last digit. He couldnt, he said he has much paper work, he needs me to call back in 5mins. I did.
I went to make noise to the “boyfriend” telling him that I dont have that kind of figure to pay the tax. He asked about the phone conversation. Defended the finance guy and act blur saying he didnt realise that its necessary to pay tax. Its usually between the client and finance department.
came the 11th, I reminded him to pick me up the next day. Lo and Behold, he change his story, and even blew up a little and said if I had understood what he was saying about me cashing out the profit and then we could meet properly. Turns out we were not going to meet as promised.
I was beyond disappointed. I was heartbroken, I cried. Why is it so difficult to go to be near my loved one?
and you know, girls being girls, I already shared with my colleagues that I’m flying out over the weekend to meet that guy, he looks really cute, lives in Central, Hong Kong, drives a BM6series, blah blah blah.
and when they followed up and asked, are you excited about meeting him finally?
I had to explain that I wasnt going to see him. That I am very confused. I explain the situation and colleague said it is dodgy. that she has a friend in Hong Kong, could help me to call up Lippo Securities to verify if he works there.
She did, she helped me sent an email to Lippo Securities to ask if “Zhou Yu Hang” works there. The email came back saying no. I was thinking, nah, he uses Chinese name, the email asked for English name. I should still proceed to make arrangement for the cash out. I would let my boyfriend down and pull down his career and disappoint his Superior too if I didnt proceed.
The colleague said if she were me, she will so bite back with vengeance. I was in a huge dilemma.
The next day, my colleague asked, “so”, “how was it?”. I said I was still going to proceed. I said its a gamble. and no matter the situation, it is just money.
and just as my bff said, “worst case scenario is I get cheated physically and monetary.” I said, no, the worst case scenario is dying.
The colleague asked again, “why are you punishing yourself.” I burst out tearing “I have no answer for you.”
I sent a message asking him for his professional work email. He answered he dont have one as he handles VIP, high privacy profiles. I was so upset, I argued, “Lippo Securities is so big and you are telling me you dont have a professional work email?” I told him my bank needs information of him in-order to proceed with the transfer. He gave me the official name of Lippo Securities and the phone number of the finance guy. I let it hang there. I couldnt make up my mind of whether thats a valid verification or not. It was not requested on behalf of the bank. The bank had no idea yet.
The next day was a Saturday. I didnt take up the invitation to go for a nice dinner with the colleagues. I was still very stuck, to pay or not to pay. There was no peace in my heart. But as the hours past, I decided that I owe it to myself to figure out does he really work for Lippo Securities?
So I sent an email to Lippo Securities for verification with his name in chinese and the exact info-for-verification-use he gave me. That was Friday evening.
So came Saturday, I was still topsy turvy. The previous times I googled for his name, there was no returns, I googled his name and Lippo Securities, there was no returns, I reverse google his photograph, no returns as well. It kinda make sense, he doesnt have a phone with internet line, he doesnt speak English well, he doesnt have a camera. Pretty much legitimate reasons to not have an online profile. My dodgy guy seems legitimate.
Then I googled more keywords, Hong Kong Scam, Lippo Securities Scam, Securities Scam. Lo and Behold (again) I found the exact same investment pitching on the forum that scam victim contribute to.
I burst out laughing at the situation. I got scammed. So *tooting* scamed. USD… scammed. *toot*. I lied on my bed and began texting the girls that knew about my possible relationship. I talked it out with my girls.
I was pretty much 70% sold on the idea that I got scammed. But I insisted, I want to hear from Lippo Securities that he and the finance guy do not work for them.
Jang Jang Jang!
So I stayed back after school to put together a proper report and lodged a Singapore Police Report, multiple banks report. Thats it. I hope my form of coming back with vengence would nip them in some parts of their butt.
So, I dont think, the photo is him, the name is his real name. But these I notice.
1. Its definitely organised crime. He could build a daily routine, he has finance department personnel, he has policy documents, he has a fix story that he has used. He knows the words to use.
2. Note to self and to other ladies out there, he uses the same persuasive text saying in all relationships there will be conflicts and hits, not to give up just like that. “毕竟嘛，我们这个年龄感情我们是玩不来也伤不起。” and “因为一份爱情肯定要经历碰碰的只有互相支持理解信任才可以度过这些没有一份爱情是不会经历这些碰碰吵吵闹闹的。”
3. Please note these 2 contact numbers in-case it comes up 0085251364159, 0085260984813
4. English language and data connectivity is almost necessity in order to earn money in Hong Kong.
5. Verification is just an email away. (If only I had done it earlier)
6. Talk to people close to you if its a matter thats keeping you all stuffy in your chest (not talking about boobs), talking about the part that my colleague asked one question and I burst out crying. Its that emotional pressure. Once you feel it, let it out, speak about it. That was my turning point.
7. Yup, crisis is the time where you see friends who trust you (its complicated, not gonna share too much).
So after all was said and done, I confronted him. He flat out deny. Asking why am I so stupid? Why would Lippo Securities reveal their VIP staff to members of public. He asked me where did I get that “similar story” from? Notice that what he is doing is trying to get the sources that root him out? I didnt provide my source of course. I concluded that I wouldnt be paying. He carried on saying why I am I so stupid to believe others and not him, why can I not see from his point of view. Why I gave up that huge some of profit. Nothing about his career being affect. I didnt respond.
and guess what.
He sent an ultimatium. “Remember those photos you sent me?”
WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL (nope, my face was not in them, nope its content is none of your business)
Well, as sextortion experiences would tell you. Ignore. Absolutely.
and he texted “Are you not going to respond to me?”
indeed USD…. to see through a person is very cheap. More than that, I learnt to be smarter. You learn from my experience. I learnt who trust me. I learnt how to approach banks in situations as such. I learnt that I am… a KEYBOARD WARRIOR.
HAHAHAHA! FYI, I played a pun on keyboard warrior. Its a negative indication. But obviously in this case its a good thing.
Okay, I’ve refunded my airflight ticket to Hong Kong, I’ve reported to the various banks and police, I’ve blogged about this. I think this is closure.
I can move on happily now.
thanks for coming by
So i’ve unpurposefully isolated myself.
I didn’t isolate myself, and neither were things done purposefully nor unpurposefully.
Considering I had enough interaction during the working hours, with the kids mainly, I appreciate the quietness that comes when.. I don’t input and output much.
Then came the tons of Ice Shaken Lemon Tea I’ve been drinking. and of course, the amount of money I’ve thrown into the Starbucks card.
Especially and mainly because, you guess it, the interaction I get from the exchange with the Baristas.
I only understood it recently that I would somehow bring myself to the SB nearby (like 3mins walk away) day in and day out to get that tea, not bcos I’m addicted to the tea, but because I look forward to that interaction with the Baristas.
Some days, its “Oh I want that Lemon taste to perk me up.”
Some days, its “I’m picking up groceries or breakfast, so hey, swing by.”
It just happens.
I took time to analyse the conversations and interaction, I came to this conclusion,
its that non-work, genuine smile, occasional sweet message on the cup (read successful marketing tactic enhanced by personal touch, as you can see from the photo above) that I went back for day in and day out.
Its especially because its non-committal, its non-consequential. Its a Hi, Weather talk/Acquaintance talk, Bye, thing.
Just nice for someone like me.
While I run away from extensive interactions, I run to this safe zone of communication. The duration, is the selection of the order, the processing of the payment, and that extra small talk when picking up that drink.
It intrigues me how understanding self becomes a coping mechanism. (I probably will be more messed up in the relationship department if not because of them). Its not necessary because the person is in a dire state thats why this was necessary, its simply bcos I’m a social creature. I am normal. (If the situation rings a bell, you are normal too, just not one of the larger crowd of norms).
OH and one thing I noticed about myself, or the my behaviour as a consequence of the situation(-as-a-whole), eye contact became an elusive act.
Because all these interactions are short and brief, including the dealings with the students, I don’t stay to maintain eye contact long enough. I had a verbal exchange with you, we understood each other, and we move on. Thats that.
Its like, “hey, what happened, why do I disregard eye contact these days. Yes, theres always that next thing to look towards, to glance over, but where did that sincerity in speech went to?”
Not that I wasn’t sincere, but I realise, it takes effort to maintain eye contact too. To stay and gaze, Interesting.
Begs the question, how long should a random conversation be? how long to show a person that you care?
Sometimes, anticipating things beforehand gives one a false sense of expectation. Its only when we got there, engaged, then do we know how it really is.
To swim, to eat, to study, to live, to participate, to commit.
The key to it then is to anticipate all u can, n do the due preparation as much as possible. When you finally get in, strike at it w passion, when you finally get in, give it all u got and never look back. (Giving It All)
Because you are there afterall to figure it out. You are there to see to the end of things. You are there.
Anything thats worth doing, anything that has an expected end requires a plan, patience and long suffering. (Commitment)
The world, in all its wonders and interaction is not controlled by you, you are just a participant, diff is you can control what u do n what you feel about it.
Know that we dont always get what we want, but also know that we shld always take stock of what we get n be grateful for them. (Expectation Management)
Choose marriage. Choose well. Choose to work on yourself first, choose to figure out who you are, choose to be healthy. Choose to believe that you are worthy of a good love. Choose to come together not as two halves to form a whole, as if marriages were meant to repair you, but as two wholes to form a partnership.
Choose love. Choose to commit to that love, in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do you part. Choose marriage.
People throw around ‘happily ever after’ as if all marriages could be summarised as such, as if it were a foregone conclusion. It is not. It is something that needs to be guarded and nurtured, it is a sum total of all our choices. Choose well.
I finally watched “The Notebook”. Its gazillion years ago. I know.
HBO in my Jakarta apartment, thats why.
I didnt notice a lot of dialogue, except 2,
ones the one where she was screaming at the mom, talking about her and dad never play. watever watever.
the other one, of course is the guy to the woman:
“Would you just stay with me?
Stay with you? What for? Look at us! We’re already fighting!
Well that’s what we do! We fight! You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass! Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings, you have like a two-second rebound rate and you’re back doing the next pain in the ass thing.
So it’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really hard. And we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever. You and me. Everyday.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Its real, because thats how relationship is… thats how two very different and complete person coming together is.
Because one is assured about him/herself. 2 complete persons coming together, fighting because of the different opinion, and yet at the end of the day, agreeing to disagree and continue on “forever” “Everyday”.
Speaking of traveling… I set a vision for myself. I want to take a photo of the 12 apostles before it becomes dunno how many apostles left.
and was sitting in a car the other day, was pretty provoked by myself. Or probably the bus, after a meal w Iris, and I felt it in my heart.
I shall go to Paris and visit the Eiffel tower as a graduation celebration after my UniSIM.
Yup, UniSIM…. Its not going to be easy, hadn’t been, neither will be.
and on that note, nobody said anything about not going before the graduation.
Hmm… and I was strategizing, you know the French speaking people, they kinda not appreciate people trying to speak English to them?
Okay! I shall speak in Chinese the whole time that I am there.