Whats E key? Think about “Do-Re-Mi” The “Mi” something like that. and we are not talking about Octave yet.
But just watching the video (the girls in Ellen show) itself, I learnt something about behavior.
You notice the natural adrenaline rush in Sophie (Black Hair) thats not the typical showmanship we expect. Cos she’s all over the place. Compare that to the little cousin, All nice and prim, nice figure, nice hair, nice features.
But being children Sophie has very good showmanship, she can perform (sing, react co-inherently), laughs and really bring much joy.
Look at Rosie, very prim and proper, and obviously brought up with much instruction on how to behave in crowd/audience. Part of the factor might be that she is only 5, so is pretty shy. But you notice at one point, she actually attempts to “hit” Sophie to get her to calm down.
Amazing.
Guess like they say, desired behavior for appropriate situation.
That brought me to another recent incident, was teaching a young boy whos turning 4. Very outspoken. Then move on to another child who is older, smart, but really quiet. Such stark contrast.
Then it hit me, being smart has its advantage. But being outspoken has even GREATER advantage, cos afterall, the society is more keen about hearing from you rather than seeing your works isnt it?
So parents, dont shut your child up when he or she ask too much “Why”. Get them books, help them to figure out the answers. At least they speak. Love it that they speak.
And I’m glad Nicki Minaj encourage the children, specifically gave the children the instruction to put books first, music second.
Finished reading the book “More Than A Chat”, felt its a really good book.
I realize that there are many perspective to Counseling. People’s conception of it.
In-fact if you noticed, some of my previous TOTD is from the same book as well.
Happen to pick out one story that I do think is pretty applicable in my life, and I wanna share it here.
Do drop by at the National Library or enquire with the REACH Family Services Centre on how to obtain the book.
Story 7 – A New Lens “You become what you think about.” – Earl Nightingale
More Than A Chat: Real-life Accounts of Lives Empowered through Counselling, REACH Community Services Society
Stepping off the escalator that carried throngs of commuters out of the MRT station, Jit Meng found himself wedged in the midst of weekend shoppers sauntering up and down the makeshift covered walkway. A couple, deep in conversation, was exchanging intimate gestures as they walked past. A group of young girls was chirping away gleefully, breaking out in occasional raucous laughter. Lost in the crowd, Jit Meng was pierced with the familiar jab of loneliness, an old acquaintance that had plagued him for most of his life. However, not too long ago, he had learnt a new way of relating to this acquaintance. He remained himself of the intimate friendship and kinship he was privileged to have.
“It is completely fine to be alone,” he reassured himself.
At home in the crowd, he strode on with lightness, making his way leisurely towards a shopping mall. His gaze then fell on a girl sitting on her father’s shoulders. He involuntarily greeted her with a smile and the girl returned his smile with a beam of delight. A flush of warm feeling filled his heart. Yes, he could relish in the good things the world offered and express gratitude for the good things in his life once again. But his countenance and outlook were not like this one year ago when his mind had been filled with only negative thoughts.
Negative Thoughts and Feelings
Jit Meng had just returned to Singapore after spending three years furthering his studies in Canada. He was 28. He found a job as a customer service executive in an information technology company. Though gainfully employed and surrounded by supportive parents, he felt the world he lived in was hostile, where evil seemed to triumph over good. Injustice reigned in him as he pondered over why life did not deal him the fair share of good things he rightly deserved. Questions about why others seemed to have it all but not him loomed over his head. He was cynical about the seemingly good, and pessimistic about what life had to offer. The negativity was so deep-seated that he was not even aware that it was eating him away.
“The cars, motorcycles and occasional truck pass him by. Drivers and passengers are oblivious to his existence. He sees the searing heat of the asphalt. It is not a gentle sun but the quiver of the leaves of the big tree he stands under, tells him there is a breeze. He watches the birds sing. They are silent to him. He feels calm and experience an ever present tranquility. Almost.
That same moment, many miles away, the same ungentle sun beats upon the bus she is traveling in. The air-conditioning in the bus blows with vengeance an uncomfortable cold wind. She pulls her cardigan closer to her chest and folds her arms; her head rests against the window as she closes her eyes.
… She closed her eyes as she took in his last embrace. “I have to go now.” She feels his lips gently upon her cheek. “Go in peace Huat.” She feels one last tight embrace, followed by stillness in the air.”
- The Strange Tale of An Incorrigible Expat Playboy short stories, He Waits, Peter Chen
Didn’t realize that the person in the 1st paragraph was just a soul till towards the end of the story.
“But I had followed our routine everyday: walking down from Guy’s Campus at 5:30 in the evening, down Southwark Street, up Stamford, turning right at the IMAX and up Waterloo Bridge-our bridge-the strengthening smell of the Thames filling my lungs with anticipation, my feet quickening in step with my heart as I hoped to see you hurrying from the other side in your DKNY shirt and Gap khakis to meet me at the halfway mark and complete our day.”
- The Strange Tale of An Incorrigible Expat Playboy short stories, Shaina’s Inbox, Sandeep Shete
Why cant people have greater respect for others and just listen to them talk. Understand their point of view rather than be calculative and always want to win?
Why?
I hate it especially when its from people I give respect to. Nope, not even that they have to earn it. People that naturally have the respect that is bestowed upon them.
I’m talking about my ex-boss and my tuition girl’s mother specifically.
Anyway, “I feel so small.. n defenseless when in a verbal conflict.. haiz..”
Small and defenseless, seldom on the offensive side.
Thats the thing about me, I dont like to be in a conflict. I believe in harmony, I believe in talking things through, putting things on the table so that issues can be iron out. I dont have to win. I dont have to benefit fully. I want harmony, I want peace.
I choose not to come back with a rebuttal, but rather listen, I’ll let them talk, back down think about what the other person say, pick out my own flaws based on what I heard.
People wouldnt agree with my silence, but well, guess thats just how different people handle different situation?
Then again, in that way, the true character of the opposite party is revealed.
Cos when you choose not to get involve, the more the other person will carry on to argue their point, the more the other person will want to be in the beneficial position and “win” the conflict.
And you will see all the ugliness spilling out. How pushy the person is, the hidden agenda within, how stingy and calculative, how overbearing, all their values and principles, they are just laid on the table for you to see.
Actually that applies for myself too. My actions after the end of the conversation is a sign of who I am as a person.
If I think you are right, I would stay around, if I think you are not worth it, you probably wont be seeing me much.
So to the lady from Shen Zheng and the guy from Taiwan, you two won the verbal conflict, but you lost someone who is passionate of her craft.
What was your last quarrel about? Did you win or did you lose? Did you win or did you lose?
I had one too many coffee with friends lately…
Male friends specifically…
But it is also these few meetups that taught me something about myself.
Hmm…
Do you remember how when we were young there’s this saying amongst young teenagers (with raging hormones) that goes “he’s talking to you, is he interested in you?”
My January was meaningless okay maybe not very meaningless, just mainly un-employed a lot of silly posts on food and random post of things happening.
and,
“Scientists says ‘Chocolate cure’ for persistent cough!” “Apparently this “theobromine” substance in chocolate is more effective than this ‘codeine’ substance found in cough syrup.”
cool beans!
To think I set a goal to go for LASIK surgery by March 2011 nope, didn’t happen. But its quite an informative entry I realize. http://www.avnjl.com/eye-surgery/
funny thing was, I did a food review at Around De World in early Jan and went back there to work a couple months later. and well, its closed now.
Wrote that entry in February, reading it again now feels funny, happy kind of way.
Cos I believe the job thereafter was as a waitress cum front-desk at a certain Hotel.
Hell, didn’t enjoy the hours, the mis-treatment by a pinoy and again the lack of mental stimulation. Which is why I love my current job.
Leads me to wonder again, will I move on to corporate sales?
and then in 21st Feb! http://www.avnjl.com/hotel/
The revelation of going back to teacher.
All I had determination for was 1 freaking week.
Its funny how I caption the entry as: http://www.avnjl.com/updates/ 1st Humane update of 2011. I don’t know what to say~
okay la, maybe its Humane and sane bcos of the whole being deconstructed, then the period of no job, then the whole period of being in a torturing experience, and then finally back to teaching again.
and Oh! perhaps also because sex was a constant? hurhur~
http://www.avnjl.com/not-everything-needs-a-conclusion/
Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Sometimes people just need a reason to go on, not necessary a right reason…
I realize I’ve changed. From being very opinionated to more like a counsellor… a listener… understanding and evaluating, learning to accept other people’s ways too.
Not glad of the process, I appreciate, but it could have been less destructive.
Remember the part about me saying “Rebuilding Amanda Val”.
Why?
I worked with a boss that has been through plenty in life the harsh way.
So while we were working together to start up his company, I had to grow up very fast.
I used to work with kids, so in as much as I am a grown up girl, developed physically, but mentally, I am not ready to be a business woman.
So the whole idea of plucking out the weeds, is like extensive and rough plowing.
and you know me being the innocent and always-accepted me, that was a very rough process.
Like brutally stab and dragged, slashed and split apart. Like Freddy vs Jason come alive.
It was devastating mentally, but I learnt much mannerisms of being an adult, being a little bit more than just being a teacher in a very protected environment.
I grew up.
I came to understand that not everyone is in-love with my child-like-ness.
I came to understand that my actions and attitude is acceptable for everyday interaction but not necessary desirable for business handling.
That form of harshness inflicted upon me, became a learned behavior that I in-turn manifest unconsciously.
It developed higher standards for other people, and sad to say not so much for myself.
I lost plenty of zen-ness, I use to be calm and cool able to take things at its stride, but seems like that part of me went missing…
I appreciate the change in me, I appreciate the deconstruction, but what I dont appreciate is the way its being delivered.
I think thats a good lesson for parenting, a good lesson on having to treat people with love.
Soft approach… pros and cons… thats.. an entry for another day…
How will tomorrow be like?
How will 2012 be like?
I don’t know, I am just thankful for the great lovers around me.
For loving me.
Was walking down Orchard Road when Tang’s Christmas decor caught my eyes.
I love how the lights and the words just jumped out to me.
The simple message “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
That this much time of the year has past and we are stepping into the last month, we have come this far.
That no matter the struggle of the year. No matter the things that had happened, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
It's been said that a person without passion is as good as a walking zombie, I strongly believe in that. Passion gives a person life and makes a person unique. I am passionate about communicating with people. I am passionate about making things work. Do you work to live, or live to work? | Email: avnjl(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)sg | Follow me on Twitter: @avnjl | Chat me up at skype: amandavalng
okay maybe not very meaningless, just mainly un-employed 
It's been said that a person without passion is as good as a walking zombie, I strongly believe in that. Passion gives a person life and makes a person unique. I am passionate about communicating with people. I am passionate about making things work. Do you work to live, or live to work? | Email: avnjl(at)yahoo(dot)com(dot)sg | Follow me on Twitter: @avnjl | Chat me up at skype: amandavalng 
