Category Archives: random

still dreaming..

its coming to 2am, woke up ard 12plus to visit the ladies n I can’t fall back to sleep. don’t we just hate it when this happen?

still dreaming..

dreaming about publishing my own book.

dreaming about singing with a live band after work, casually.

dreaming about eating whatever I want whenever I want.

dreaming about resting in a pool. Just soaking in, relaxing the body.

dreaming about having a happy family with a committed and loving husband.

dreaming about dreaming.

 

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

P/s: did I mention I totally lost faith in online dating? I’ve met an imposter n now I’ve met a scam. Not so sure if I could handle what this world throws at me anymore..

Like I was a product

takeaway coffee

went into the local convenience store, saw and heard a big dark-skinned guy giving instructions to the cashier on him wanting sugar for his coffee. ALWAYS hated coming close or passing by those dark-skinned people because they always like to sweet talk me and pick me up. Best part was I’ve seen this same guy hanging out w a local girl previously. n sure enough, he tried to pick me up. “how are you? wat is ur name? where do you stay?” all in Bahasa Indonesia. (applause to him for knowing foreign language)

He even blocked my way when I tried to pay. I looked up at him and I said I dont understand. I want to pay, please excuse me. dunno whether he didn’t understand or realise the unhappiness in my tone and my eyes.

he continued babbling and gave instructions to the cashier saying he wants to pay for me. my goodness. I must have looked damn pissed. cos the cashier gave me back my change.

maybe bcos this week’s unit is on Nelson Mandela and the oppression of the dark-skinned people. deep inside, I was thinking. its just a cup of coffee, well within his reach. why on earth can’t he do it himself? is that not what his forefathers suffered? how is he any different from those oppressors?

and on the feminism side, he obviously checked me out when I was getting my stuff at the store. I bet he would not have spoken to me if there was an unrelated guy around. not even talking abt if my dad was present or I came in with another guy.

Like my body was a product.

Yup, I’m still not over the being mistreated by man experience.

hope your day was happier.

 

thanks for coming by

 

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Behavior & Predictability

Was just looking at a “neighbor’s” behavior and it hit me that sometimes being predictable provides the certain form of security, especially for little kids.

 

So there was this time  when he got onto the bus, kinda squeezed in cos there wasnt enough space, he slammed the door when he got on, he slammed the door when he got off.

 

he kicked the door really hard, kinda normal cos the door was stuck.

 

But seriously, whether there is anger or not aside.. if I’m a child I’ll be frighten. “My dad has that kind of capability and strength to do that…”

 

and then the next day, he lost his usual seat, he commented ” <person name>, seriously?”

 

I didnt remember him asking to make a reservation.

 

 

If we put both of that incident together, me as a child would be damn frighten, because, “dad blames me for things he didnt make arrangement for… and he could have beaten me up with that kind of strength…”

 

I hope you get my point.. just saying that, dont allow your child to ever be frighten and feel insecure.
If possible, explain and be rationale.

 

Children learn from your behavior. Be the father they can look up to.

 

:(

 

Thanks for coming by

 

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Exhausted

Oh … My … Tian …

I am exhausted …

 

Think its the 2 consecutive weeks of being occupied thats driving me this exhausted. Its so bad that I almost wanted the 2 whole days of a weekend to myself, completely skipping church and all that.

 

Like just wanna serve the net, blog a little and basically hide under the blanket…

introvert

 

I’m sorry if you missed me, I missed blogging too… thank you for coming by…

 

and as they say

whoever that came up with this beautiful graphic about introverts deserve an award

how_to_live_with_introverts_guide_printable_by_schrojones-d5b09fj

 

 

 

thanks for coming by~ :)

 

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Soldiers?

Was just watching tv and a thought came to me.

 

So soldiers risked their life on war field and fighting for the country.

 

 

Then what happens after war?

 

Kinda like they lose their job isnt it?
Is fighting a war for the country really just a job?

Do they really go out of job after the war?

 

Whats left of the skills after that? How are they still relevant to the society?
Martial arts trainers?
Discipline masters?
Body Guards?
Security Officers?
Consultants?

 

Do they then continue on the new “job” with pride, or the broken and with wreck up mind?
All the brain jizz after the war… are they still mentally capable to handle it?

 

What about us then? How do we looked at our job?
Do we risk our life and go all out for our job?
Do what we do requires such dedication?
Who decides it anyway?

 

What if we take our job and really be liken to a soldier on the war field?
What would be left of us?
What would be the outcome of the tasks we uphold?

 

What would it be like?

 

What would it take for one to give everything that one has?

 

i-want-you

 

 

Thanks for coming by

 

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Bio-Clock

I woke up at 4:30am on a Saturday morning…
5:30am in Singapore time.

My mind is super active by the time it hits 6am…

 

I have no idea what time the supermarket opens (and surprisingly their website don’t have an answer to that)

and I… am all over the place. :D

 

Got to do something about this “nasty habit” of the “perpetual need” to accomplished whatever I have intended to do. Its not just doing it, its the sequence of having it done.

 

I know I wanna go to the supermarket, then settle lunch, then do whatever marking or whatever online stuff I had intended to do.
So having woke up this early, not knowing what time the supermarket opens. I was super restless.
I have absolutely no interest, whatsoever to blog or do work, nor am I in the mood to exercise or do cooking.
I want to go to the supermarket before anything else, and it shall be like that.

Good Lord…
its not like the supermarket will run away. Its not like I would die without the ginger or the garlic.

 

Haiz…you get the picture.
But on the bright side, accomplishing things and sticking to the plan is a good habit. So.. *pat pat*

:D

and yes, I wake up at 4:30am, falls asleep by 9pm.. which is Singapore 5:30am, 10pm. :/
Yes, Technically, I have no life.

 

Then again, I’ve never felt more at ease with myself. :)
Perhaps its because I have my own place and although its only grocery shopping, I feel “addressed”. Like meeting the inner need. :)

 

I do club and drink and go cafes and restaurants when necessary.
But truth is clubbing and drinking is just a form of entertainment, socializing and presenting to people that I have a “life”.

 

Doing up the place, walking down the aisle in a supermarket recharges me. :D
Oh I am so low maintenance. :D Ha! What the hell man.

 

I still need my Iris to zen with me at cafes.

 

thanks for coming by

 

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Sheldon Spock

Sheldon-Cooper-as-Spock-hehe-xD-mr-spock-27911453-293-307

 

Sheldon Cooper  “dressed up” as Mr Spock.

 

Reminds me that intelligence is overrated. Go Google

It is important no doubt. :)

 

Thanks for coming by

 

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

TOTD – That everyone plays a part.

20120531-132923.jpg

Was filled with positive thoughts about the young boy in checkers shirt when he first sat down w his plate f rice. I thought he was so independent, worthy of my praise.

Then he stood up and walked away. Came back w a set of steel cutlery.
Oh turns out he was using a plastic spoon initially.

Then he took off his bag and drop it on the floor. Drop literally not put.

and soon enough the plastic spoon landed on the floor as well. Quietly and as discreet as possible, right underneath the table where he sits.

Another young boy, a woman and a man came and sat at the table.

The woman scolded the boy regards the bag.

I wonder what will she do if she knew the boy dropped the spoon.

On my side, as a righteous public member I should have pick it up and place it on his table. (It’s alright afterall to change the mind and wanted to use a steel spoon instead. Just leave it on the table, why do you litter?)

But it feels like if I do that I’m being a teacher again, correcting “student”. Mind your own business Amanda.

But what is it? Lack of the right Parenting? Lack of education in school?

Or is it a blatant unawareness that everyone plays a part in keeping the environment clean?

And don’t you dare tell me drop the spoon on the floor so the cleaner has a job to do. (Unless jokingly of course).

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda