What women find most attractive about men are things like competence. If you are expert at almost anything you will feel more confident and have a sense of who you are. This will show in every aspect of your body language, from the way you walk to the way you look at a woman. And women want men with soul, with passion, with vitality, with a twinkle in their eyes, with the promise of an intense, ecstatic life. When men found a mission, show courage, conviction and competence, they feel fully alive and this connects them to their potency. They feel sexy and if they feel sexy they will be sexy.
So perhaps sexual attraction can take on other less shadowy meanings for us and include playfulness, vigor, intensity, vitality and ecstatic pleasure.
Why the bias towards men, you might be thinking? Well, women are simply better at sensing and responding to non-verbal cues. If I presume to consider where women might change their body language, it is either related to their concerns over excessive male attention, usually triggered by their highly flirtatious unconscious behavior; or their worries about failing to attract men, which usually relates to a mismatch between their internal sexual interest and their external concerns to appear chaste because they believe this is more likely to lead to love.
– Sexual Body Language, Martin Lloyd Elliott
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