Category Archives: Runderstandings

Everything in it

http://www.managinggodsmoney.com/images/homepage-banner-final.jpg

Was just trying to make a transaction for a backup ticket because I bought the previous ticket’s flight timing too early.

Then it hit me that I’m always not that good with managing money, that silly scam and now this ticket thing…

Maybe I bought the ticket when I was still a little affected by the scam? Maybe I just wanna get home and spend time at home.

I was very upset… and as I sat there trying to decide if I want to gamble with the timing or pay for the backup ticket. I thought to myself “I am not very good with managing my money. No, its not my money, its the Lord’s money. I’m a steward of His money.”

Then it hit me. “and guess what, no lesson is too expensive for the Lord. He just wants to get you there.”

I think as I struggle with money issues, or as some of you do not. 😀 I need to remind myself that everything is a learning lesson, there is no coincidence. Its all God-incidence.

That nothing, no price is too expensive for Him when He wants to get you to what He has planned for you. That final Goal. of the Him in mind.

 

Praise the Lord!
Hallelujah!

 

thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Love Scammed… *tooting* USD Love Scammed

28th October 2017
Hoax? Scam? Out to take advantage?
I dont know, I dont really care anymore. He was verbally abusive. That was all.
Yet another guy that left me with a broken heart. – October Guy

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7th September 2017
They dont stop coming do they? Am thankful that this post has been going around and helping people.

This 2nd one I met.
On the site, he indicated UAE. So I asked him what’s he doing there, he said he’s developing a project. I asked him where he’s from, he said woodlands (in SG). Is that true I dont think so.

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16 Dec 2016

Got this from the HK police.

img_20161216_160003

Though it’s kinda expected (yar, not surprising abt the fake identity bank account registration), it’s still painful to face it.

Spread the word!!!! Get rid of those irritants!!

Oh, n someone asked abt the LINE Account thing:

Scammer Lippo v1 Scammer Lippo v1b

Scammer Lippo v2a Scammer Lippo v2b
The one in black suit is the current one that he is using. Confirm is targeting those 35 and above.

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

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6 Dec 2016

So, after this post was published, much girls contacted me, Just thought its a good idea to share some of the more active after actions or what I responded to one of the girls.

Thank God you didn’t transfer any funds to him at all. Please do not do that. I believe that he can do nothing about your account number. If I’m not wrong, unless you’ve provided authorization to the bank, the bank is not authorised to release any funds from your account.
1. I suggest you change a bank account number if its within your ability.
2. Inform bank via phone call or a visit to tell them that you did not authorise and should not under any circumstances allow any movement with the next few month (except pre-arranged giro arrangement).

The truth of the matter is, this photo you have, Is definitely not the real guy you are dealing with. They basically screengrab from other guys (even reverse search on google does not show up). One of them even had the opportunity to chat with guys that supposedly worked in the same company, his hoaxed was even able to supply photos of wedding ceremonies that he supposedly attended. They probably went around an collected an archive of life-style photos.
I’ve been in active conversation with plenty of us, being-scammed-ladies to know this. Even the Hong Kong police indicated “Do not send me anymore photos!!” in his email.

(She asked for my hoax’s account number)
They have plenty of account numbers to go around.
I personally transferred to 2 accounts, both were from different HSBC account. Was pending to transfer to the 3rd account when I got my verification from Lippo Securities and decided to called him out bluff. (when I asked him whose account those were, he said its the finance department that arranged it, he isn’t sure).
There was another lady, transferred to 4 different accounts, 3 from HSBC and 1 from another China bank.
There was a single mom (yes, even single mom, they would scam) its another China account too.
So it doesn’t matter the name of account holder or account number.

To help you verify, you may email the company he says he is representing to verify his identity, to find out if he works for that company. That was what I did. (I know it feels as though its distrust, but no. its protecting yourself. You owe it to yourself to figure out)

As you have noticed from my blog, my policy looked really legitimate too. Unfortuantely, it is not. Lippo securities cleanly deny any relationship with my scammer.

I was supposed to fly to Hong Kong to meet him. He managed to postpone and not meet me saying its part of the contract obligation.

The other lady, he was suppose to fly in to SG to meet her, she went to airport to pick him on the actual day, waited for 3 hours, no show. His “colleague” later contacted her to say he was held back by immigration.

The lady with the 4 account numbers, the 4-times transfer were for: 1. Initial investment. 2. Tax payable 3. Stamp and duty fee 4. Overseas outflow fee. – Just sharing how they will cheat you.

So please don’t send him any money. Cease contact is the best option.

I thought I should carry on chatting with him to stall time for the police and get more live information. It took longer than expected time for the police to respond. Its pointless and it is just conditioning our heart to not trust man (worthy man, included).

Again, please don’t send him any money. Cease contact is the best option.

I hope its not too late for you, that you havent already transferred money to the scammer.
There are a few channels for you to report to should you be a victim.
1. Your local (specific to country) police.
2. The country your supposedly scammed policy/investment company is from. – IF its from Hong Kong like in my case, (1) Hong Kong Police and the (2) Securities Future Commission.
3. Your local bank (or the bank you’ve transferred money from)
4. The receiving bank (or the bank you’ve transferred money to)

Do not suffer in silence. Lodge a report. Do something about it. Its important to have paperwork, Leave a trail. In a way, that helps you should there be chances that you could get your money back (although its really low chances since its voluntary transfer). 🙂

As I said on a facebook post, “Whats wrong with the world? One human being scamming another human being.”…

We are all born with different deck of cards. Its what we do with it that matters.

thanks for coming by,

Be Bless,
Amanda

P/S: Its really disgusting when I see my scammer’s Line account profile photo changing from one to another. Its like using that same number, changing 3 different identities, I wonder scamming how many girls.

PP/S: Its pretty disgusting too, when scammer use a similar userid on 2 separate occasions to message (on the dating site) me. Its either they think I’m really dumb, or they are just out to remind me of how dumb I was.

Peace out.

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周宇航 周宇航 周宇航 周宇航 周宇航

so handsome right!!
I know, its like perfect match with me isnt it. One handsome, one pretty.

😀

Well, Love is blind they say. and I am so blind too.
So, I met him from an online dating site and exchange LINE contacts. Didnt really spend time chatting with him initially, cos im not a fan of LINE app, felt theres too much spam of advertising and since majority of my contacts are on watsapp, it didnt matter.
intro_asZYH first_exchange

So he introduced himself as 周宇航 (Zhou Yu Hang), from Hong Kong, handles VIP customers, didnt exactly say which company, I thought that was just for his own internet security. DIdnt bother to pursue and ask. He even shared about his annual pay being certain huge amount, drives a BM 6series because its more safe. He said his English wasnt very good. shared that he is from Xiamen
annual_Pay100wan bmx6 diff_get_leave Englishnogood home_in_xiamen job_intro

We chat for extended period over the days.

He expressed his intention of starting a relationship with me.
The whole idea that at our age we cannot afford to fool around “毕竟嘛,我们这个年龄感情我们是玩不来也伤不起。”, that he felt I’m a nice girl (yes I am), who is filial (yes I am) and was really pushing to start a relationship.
cant afford to play HK_Girls marriage_proposal push for relationship love story act_Blur_Scam

I asked why not HK girls, he looks decent, what happened to previous girlfriend? He shared that HK girls were full of themselves and materialistic, I googled and well, results does point towards that side. Shared saying never to spilt that quarrel is a norm between couples (I bet he will use that in all his relationship conversation) “因为一份爱情肯定要经历碰碰的只有互相支持理解信任才可以度过这些没有一份爱情是不会经历这些碰碰吵吵闹闹的。” I said to at least meet, for all I know he could be a scam, he could be yet another imposter. I argued I need to find out more about his values and principles. He said he felt that I am the one, he doesnt want to miss out. Internally, I was telling myself, he seems nice enough, stable, and well, I’m at work, its difficult for him to apply for leave. We are lovers separated by fate. (my foot).

It was weird that he didnt have a phone that has internet access or with camera functions. I felt that perhaps in his line of work, it didnt really matter. My bff calls him “dodgy guy” straight up (yar, she doesnt remembers their name, but usually gives them label. 😀 helps relate better).

Perhaps because I was lonely, perhaps because he is good with words. Perhaps because his timing was consistent – wake up at 8am+, prepare for meeting around 9:30am+, 12pm+ lunch 1pm+ noon nap, 5:30pm+ get ready to go home, 7pm+ reach home from dinner and stroll, chat till 10pm+ or whenever one is tired and wants to sleep. Saturdays he would sleep in and go hangout with friends, Sunday go gym and lunch or dinner with friends. It was stable, routine and typical of a working adult, ready for next phase of life. I bought in. I was engaged emotionally. I was committed.

So then came the night when he said he had something to share.
That it would do our future well and its a good thing for his career in the company. Saying that since it is internal news within the company, I am not to tell anyone else.
Secrecy investment_pitching816 investment_pitching847 investment_pitching841 investment_pitching837 investment_pitching835 investment_pitching830 investment_pitching826 investment_pitching819

and so begins the investment pitching. That some items on the market are showing symptoms, that this form of investment is calculated based on the 33 groups of shares on the market, bet on it dipping or rising. He went on to explain some technical stuff. Adds on that the company he works for received internal news saying that initial report submission indicates certain trends ahead. That this is a golden opportunity to buy in.

It just so happens that there is this VIP customer that he handles had migrated recently and wanted to close his account. He had not closed the account in time. His superior says to look for someone trustworthy to takeover his position and put in money. Since this is an internal arrangement, it cannot be his family members or close friends. and guess whom he proposed to his superior? JAng Jang Jang! His girlfriend in Singapore.

Me being me, asked him, “All you want is for me to sign right? But I dont have a lot.” then he said, “its okay, take a look at the policy. its 40-80 times return. its okay one, no problem, confirm profit. Its for the good of the two of us.” I protested saying “I dont have so much cash. maybe just a few thousand.” I added, “paying a few thousand to see through a person is very cheap.”

policy2 policy3
His policy (representing Hong Kong Lippo Securities) even seemed legitimate. I said I couldnt sign through my phone, how, he say its okay, this is an internal arrangement, he could sign on my behalf. So I proceed. 22nd July, I did the first transfer. He even asked for screen shots of transfer.

asked_for_proof_of_transfer

The next weekend, he was out with his friends. It was Sunday afternoon and he asked, “What do woman like?” He explained that since this investment opportunity was granted by his Superior, he would like to visit him at home to express his gratitude. I felt that was legitimate, courteous of him. He said buying a gift for the superior might be alittle awkward, so buying a gift for the wife would be better. So he concluded to buy Bird’s Nest. Thats a great idea. Its sincere and definitely not cheap. He went ahead.

investment_pitching2ndRd
and he came back that night and said the Superior’s wife is very happy with the gift, the Superior propose to increase investment with no further condition.

I protest and said I have no intention to increase. He pushed, because he felt its difficult, awkward to reject his Superior since the Superior was that kind and takes care of him. Me being committed and all. Succumbed… 1st August, I transferred the 2nd amount of money.

I asked him whos account were those that I transferred to? He said he didnt know, it was instructed by finance department. I thought that was fine, since each department does what they had to and it is an internal arrangement afterall.

whosaccount

Initially wanted to fly over to celebrate his birthday during the 5th Aug weekend, but because of the investment, the contract indicates that I (beneficiary) am not suppose to meet him (gurantor). I was very upset and said if I have known, I would not have invested. He argued saying the investment would end on the 10th, promised to meet me on the weekend of the 12th.

Wednesday_Closing

So came the following week. 10th Aug. We closed the bid and its time to cash out the profit. I was contacted by a Mr Chen from their finance department. He explained that the investment had a 38 times return, that I was required to pay a 6% tax figure before I could cash out the profit. I was half happy and half in doubt. I asked him to tell me my account number since the profit would be credited to my account. He said he wants to verify with me my account number, asking me, instead to tell him my account number, I insisted, I want him to tell me. He said it was procedural for me to tell him my account. So I told the first 9 digit, and I said for him to tell me the last digit. He couldnt, he said he has much paper work, he needs me to call back in 5mins. I did.

actblur_abttax defending_abt_UOB_unabletorespond finance_number

I went to make noise to the “boyfriend” telling him that I dont have that kind of figure to pay the tax. He asked about the phone conversation. Defended the finance guy and act blur saying he didnt realise that its necessary to pay tax. Its usually between the client and finance department.

came the 11th, I reminded him to pick me up the next day. Lo and Behold, he change his story, and even blew up a little and said if I had understood what he was saying about me cashing out the profit and then we could meet properly. Turns out we were not going to meet as promised.

postpone_tickets

I was beyond disappointed. I was heartbroken, I cried. Why is it so difficult to go to be near my loved one?

and you know, girls being girls, I already shared with my colleagues that I’m flying out over the weekend to meet that guy, he looks really cute, lives in Central, Hong Kong, drives a BM6series, blah blah blah.
and when they followed up and asked, are you excited about meeting him finally?
I had to explain that I wasnt going to see him. That I am very confused. I explain the situation and colleague said it is dodgy. that she has a friend in Hong Kong, could help me to call up Lippo Securities to verify if he works there.

She did, she helped me sent an email to Lippo Securities to ask if “Zhou Yu Hang” works there. The email came back saying no. I was thinking, nah, he uses Chinese name, the email asked for English name. I should still proceed to make arrangement for the cash out. I would let my boyfriend down and pull down his career and disappoint his Superior too if I didnt proceed.

The colleague said if she were me, she will so bite back with vengeance. I was in a huge dilemma.

The next day, my colleague asked, “so”, “how was it?”. I said I was still going to proceed. I said its a gamble. and no matter the situation, it is just money.
and just as my bff said, “worst case scenario is I get cheated physically and monetary.” I said, no, the worst case scenario is dying.
The colleague asked again, “why are you punishing yourself.” I burst out tearing “I have no answer for you.”

noprofessional_email verification_chen_phonenum

I sent a message asking him for his professional work email. He answered he dont have one as he handles VIP, high privacy profiles. I was so upset, I argued, “Lippo Securities is so big and you are telling me you dont have a professional work email?” I told him my bank needs information of him in-order to proceed with the transfer. He gave me the official name of Lippo Securities and the phone number of the finance guy. I let it hang there. I couldnt make up my mind of whether thats a valid verification or not. It was not requested on behalf of the bank. The bank had no idea yet.

The next day was a Saturday. I didnt take up the invitation to go for a nice dinner with the colleagues. I was still very stuck, to pay or not to pay. There was no peace in my heart. But as the hours past, I decided that I owe it to myself to figure out does he really work for Lippo Securities?
So I sent an email to Lippo Securities for verification with his name in chinese and the exact info-for-verification-use he gave me. That was Friday evening.

So came Saturday, I was still topsy turvy. The previous times I googled for his name, there was no returns, I googled his name and Lippo Securities, there was no returns, I reverse google his photograph, no returns as well. It kinda make sense, he doesnt have a phone with internet line, he doesnt speak English well, he doesnt have a camera. Pretty much legitimate reasons to not have an online profile. My dodgy guy seems legitimate.

Then I googled more keywords, Hong Kong Scam, Lippo Securities Scam, Securities Scam. Lo and Behold (again) I found the exact same investment pitching on the forum that scam victim contribute to.

Love_Scam

I burst out laughing at the situation. I got scammed. So *tooting* scamed. USD… scammed. *toot*. I lied on my bed and began texting the girls that knew about my possible relationship. I talked it out with my girls.
I was pretty much 70% sold on the idea that I got scammed. But I insisted, I want to hear from Lippo Securities that he and the finance guy do not work for them.

I waited.

Came Monday.

Lippo_Veri

Jang Jang Jang!

So I stayed back after school to put together a proper report and lodged a Singapore Police Report, multiple banks report. Thats it. I hope my form of coming back with vengence would nip them in some parts of their butt.

So, I dont think, the photo is him, the name is his real name. But these I notice.

1. Its definitely organised crime. He could build a daily routine, he has finance department personnel, he has policy documents, he has a fix story that he has used. He knows the words to use.

2. Note to self and to other ladies out there, he uses the same persuasive text saying in all relationships there will be conflicts and hits, not to give up just like that. “毕竟嘛,我们这个年龄感情我们是玩不来也伤不起。” and “因为一份爱情肯定要经历碰碰的只有互相支持理解信任才可以度过这些没有一份爱情是不会经历这些碰碰吵吵闹闹的。”

3. Please note these 2 contact numbers in-case it comes up 0085251364159, 0085260984813

4. English language and data connectivity is almost necessity in order to earn money in Hong Kong.

5. Verification is just an email away. (If only I had done it earlier)

6. Talk to people close to you if its a matter thats keeping you all stuffy in your chest (not talking about boobs), talking about the part that my colleague asked one question and I burst out crying. Its that emotional pressure. Once you feel it, let it out, speak about it. That was my turning point.

7. Yup, crisis is the time where you see friends who trust you (its complicated, not gonna share too much).

So after all was said and done, I confronted him. He flat out deny. Asking why am I so stupid? Why would Lippo Securities reveal their VIP staff to members of public. He asked me where did I get that “similar story” from? Notice that what he is doing is trying to get the sources that root him out? I didnt provide my source of course. I concluded that I wouldnt be paying. He carried on saying why I am I so stupid to believe others and not him, why can I not see from his point of view. Why I gave up that huge some of profit. Nothing about his career being affect. I didnt respond.
and guess what.

He sent an ultimatium. “Remember those photos you sent me?”

WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL (nope, my face was not in them, nope its content is none of your business)

Well, as sextortion experiences would tell you. Ignore. Absolutely.
I ignore.

and he texted “Are you not going to respond to me?”
😉
indeed USD…. to see through a person is very cheap. More than that, I learnt to be smarter. You learn from my experience. I learnt who trust me. I learnt how to approach banks in situations as such. I learnt that I am… a KEYBOARD WARRIOR.

HAHAHAHA! FYI, I played a pun on keyboard warrior. Its a negative indication. But obviously in this case its a good thing.

Okay, I’ve refunded my airflight ticket to Hong Kong, I’ve reported to the various banks and police, I’ve blogged about this. I think this is closure. 🙂

I can move on happily now. 🙂
thanks for coming by
Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Whatever that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

It’s been a season of head-over-heels, back-breaking, sleep-deprived, responsibilities-overload, Ridiculous-complaints, but patience-growing, body-understanding, spine-alignment, better-health and death-defying season.

😀 damn drama, this Amanda.
Seriously, these words cannot even begin to describe what I have gone through these 2 months.

Started with the chiropractic treatment, turns out I have non-textbook categorized scoliosis (basically it’s not so bad that it cld categorize as that, but neither is it so mild that it’s negligible), I have 2 2nd phase degeneration (takes over 10yrs to develop) (a bit too young for that) misalignment in the spinal area between my shoulder blades and lower back (think slipped disc). my neck is a little too straight for my own good.
11910247_116003788748380_1934280035_n
That means, I need to stop wearing heels so that the 50yrs old will thank me. need to go for adjustment 3 times a week for first 3mths n whatever follows follows, which amounts to nerve hyper-sensitivity, which I felt caused the REM images to be so vivid, and light sleep becomes consciousness (for the past 2 months). I have no life, n as a form of therapy, the heart wld induce the body to cook (for others) therefore further reducing rest time (cooking! the marketing, the cleaning, the smell.. heavenly but not good for a open concept studio, at the same time)

on and we top it up with demands at work. well, everyone faces them. except that this happen to be a real tight semester w Prefects training n investiture at the same season. did I mention about how effective and on time some Indonesian ppl are? but well, the training went fine, the investiture was over, many thanks to great people that are involved.

the usually don’t come at all PMS hormones swing that is regulating and therefore pretty on-the-ball these 2mths? nobody likes to deal with hyper-happiness in the mind on 1 day (bcos the events for that day went well, PRAISE THE LORD!) and tearing the next bcos the family members n loved ones of the finalist for master chef came n visit (so touching! u know! family support! how long have they not seen each other and how much it meant to them. … )

oh, did I mention the still-unknown cause of the inflammation/rash at the back of the left knee, thigh? cld have been the seats of the flight, or attack frm “tomcat” insect, known to have caused death, w poison 12 times more potent than snake bites.  the traumatizing effects of seeing a muscular, well-sculpt female leg (nice thigh n calves btw) plague with a bigger than palm-sized, ugly, red-black-peeling-dark grey patch. yes, I absolutely love my legs. but praise the Lord, besides the discoloration it’s not giving me any problems now.

pic1of3 pic2of3 pic3of3

all these…

and frequent flying, of 6 times in that 2 months. I really don’t like flying, but I’ve found ways to cope w it.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Wanted to do the Serenity Prayer for the longest time. set it as my wallpaper.
I knew that the thigh is pretty much the only reasonable space for the next tattoo.
didnt get around to doing it bcos I was thinking, next time cellulite develops, it will look bad..

with that patch, forget it man, there’s no uglier thing that could happen to my legs. so there we are!
FullSizeRender
even had a whole dilemma to put leopard or not, same, it’s something I wanted. but obviously didn’t happen.

it’s the term break, since I’m not going anywhere (other countries/state as a holiday break) I really should do something that I had wanted to do. 🙂

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference.”

24-27-30
I wonder how old I wld be when the next finds itself on me. From the mind to the body.

thanks for coming by.

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

p/s: did I mention I’m doing dental braces, next? 😀 sure am thankful I am fit n strong, not weak and dainty.

His Ways…

It was about a month and a couple of weeks ago, was just doing the regular prayers.
Committing and praying about the plans ahead.
Who dont right? 😀
Was asking the Lord about the future, sharing the doubts, asking where to go after my years in Jakarta are finished.

Through the conversations with friends and colleagues, plenty of opportunities were available.
Japan, New Zealand, South Korea, (just heard recently) London.

But thats the thing about having opportunities, its really not that easy to decide.
Especially considering Singapore is a good ground and my parents are still here.
So how?

It was a long stretch, been praying about it for a really long time.

So that night, after an interesting encounter, I felt a prompting in the heart, Korea. (nope, dunno if its South Korea or North Korea).

It was like a burden has been lifted off.

Although its clear that it would not be easy.

I thought I should visit South Korea as a birthday trip as well.
2 items were bugging in my heart, the future in terms of career and the future in terms of marriage. Who knows what that prompting was for right? only “God knows” as they said.

I went ahead and made plans. Even choosing not to have the refund facility available for flight tickets purchase, (dumb dumb…) so I die die will go.
I purposely chose the flight that had a stopover in Japan.

THEN!
The MERS scare came along.
Not just about making wise decisions (despite of prompting) regards myself,
but also the need to think about the home
and the students in contact.

albeit there is a 3 weeks gap before getting back into classroom.
and that South Korea has one of the best medical and cellphone tracking system
and that the advise was to observe if there were more cases, if there is means initial measures were insufficient, therefore should avoid.

So… me of little faith, I went back to the Lord again… 😀
and as we know, He doesnt answer us as and when we want and His ways are always higher than our ways.

I thought I could do the lots thing to appease myself.

and having been with the Lord for years, I know… He won’t give me an immediate answer. 😀
So I listed a couple of possibility and a blank.

IMG_4301

and we know which one I picked:
IMG_4298

😀 Its a joke. 🙁 but well. 🙂 I am not surprised. cos thats Just how He is. 🙂
With faith.

thanks for coming by

Be Blessed
Love,
Amanda

That OCD

Planning for this Korea trip has been quite a journey…
Not just the selection of location part, even the reading through and putting things into proper pieces took its toll on me.

Lets talk about me first.
Yup,
ME. 😀

I’ve always pride myself in being an introvert, a person with OCD symptoms.
This whole journey of planning for the trip really put things into perspective for me.

So, I’ve intended to spend a weekend working on the itinerary. Having started reading on physical books, I was glad Im more or less ahead.

Friday came, I chilled out, cos I wasn’t in the mood.

Saturday came, still chilling,
then its 5pm, ok, time to start, so I started on it. Had to do a Seoul one and a Jeju one.

Collected the information into a notepad.

Worked all the way into 3am. Managed to more or less put Jeju one together. Refusing to go to sleep bcos I really want to achieve something, I pressed on…
Suddenly its 4:30am.

So I stopped and went to sleep.
Woke up feeling light-headed and heart heavy bcos what I’ve started on is not finished yet.
Don’t feel like working on it as theres that bitter taste.
Ignored it and then finally started on it in the evening,
went to sleep on time.

Went to work, came back. felt the nagging impulse to do it, but still the bitter taste is nagging, okay, I shall not work on it bcos I won’t feel good going to work the next day.

and so this whole nagging impulse and bitter taste kept going on and on.
To the extend that I felt like running away from it entirely (a.k.a fly back to SG and not be bothered about it cos I don’t have the things with me)

and of cos after a period of not doing anything and resting up, I got it finished in the end.
and thats the thing I realise about me.

I understood it is therefore important for me to divide up the task and take time to complete a huge project.

If I began on a task intending to finish it there and then, its not gonna end well.

OCD Cycle

 

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Addressing self-doubt

What if.. I am actually not that awesome, that capable as I thought I am?
Or that I don’t have that kind of social circle that has those kind of suitable candidates/match?

Yes no doubt I have more initiative and intuition than some people around me.
But just how much should these standards matter?

Theres this guy, he responded with his opinions really strongly, absolutely brushes off mine as a waste of time and is bullcrap, he’s an entrepreneur. so he says.

I let him be and my take was, he just didn’t understand the need to run with the conversation and converse on a surface level first and then take the conversation to the next level.

As I think back, it really begs the question, just how much does my talents worth to attract the kind of man that I’m looking at? Are they available to see it?

What if my talents are not good enough for them?
What if there aint no such guys around this social circle of mine?

Would it be good then, to not insist on maintaining the standards?
Would it be good then to just accept what they can live by and keep my standards for myself?
Just be me and accept them as they are?

How much is too much? How much is enough? How much is good? How much is not enough?

I am awesome and capable to the eyes of some, what about the others?
How much consistency is there in these capabilities?

Sometimes answering self-doubt is necessary to go further and grow deeper…

If all my conversations and dialogues were no longer based on honest output, no buttering and beating around the bush, and that I have to keep certain details to myself, would that still be genuine? would that still be authentic?

Would that still be me?

am I even able to achieve that in the first place?

while the assumption is that my introversion would discourage the change, is there not a solution to it?

Need a little touch from heaven,
or as babies develop further after running and recovering from a fever…
or just someway to grow, get over and matured through it.

Something…

thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Choices

Continuing on the idea of the abundance of bread. 😀

I realize that’s like life’s choices as well.

So if I hadn’t buy so much bread beforehand, (thinking that I can have it for breakfast and dinner), I could have make the actual decision of what I want for dinner at approaching dinner time.

The advance making of choices now, disables the decision making later.

But what if I want something else at the exact time of decision.

If I decide for later, now, I lose my privilege for decision making later.

What if, there were more or better choices later on?

Hmm…

While it borders between the line of being prepared beforehand and being decisive, I guess different situations caters for different level of prepared-ness.

 

thanks for coming by

 

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Throwing away stress

The other day I went to a shopping mall a distance away to look for some stuff.
There was this bakery called Bread Life.
It’s a new bakery to me, dont exactly remember if I have had bought anything from there.

I love bread, and being a new bakery to me, I was so excited with the array of bread.. I kinda spend $8 on buying bread alone.

No no, I wanted it for breakfast that day and let it roll over into dinner, I’ll have a proper meal for lunch.
Or so I thought.

As you guessed, it didn’t happen… I’ve plenty of bread left to roll over the next day.

It didn’t help that I’m leaving the country in the evening the next day.
I didn’t want to leave it in the fridge because I wanted to defrost my fridge while I’m away.

I have the breads, whatever that was left of the groceries from the whole of the week, and the cookies that I’ve baked to bring home in sg.

Oh… So stressed I was.

I spent the whole morning reading and being distracted, “how… What am I going to do about the breads… How… I know I can also pack the veg as salad back to sg, but the bread how… The carrot how… The few ladies finger how…”

Went on to do a major cleanup of the apartment since I’ll be away. “How… the bread… I don’t want to eat for lunch lei.. I got marinated fish le.. How.. The carrot… Wah Kao… How?”

I got fed up.

*toot* why the hell is it so stressful?
It is just some freaking bread, somemore with what blue berry jam, not like it’s some meat. Why on earth am I so bothered about it.

Enough is enough, I brought up the dustbin, dump the remaining 2 breads, carrot and ladies finger away. Boy was I relieved.

I’m surprised, the drop in stress level, that weight off the shoulder, that relieved..
It’s so easy to just let it go.

If only life’s pressure or worries can be that easily dropped?

“throwing away stress”

 

thanks for coming by

Be Bless
Love,
Amanda

Human Rights

Happy 49th Birthday SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!

Was just walking passed the TV when I heard about Human Rights violation in Gaza and the various happenings.

I felt an overwhelming sense of gratefulness that I’m in Singapore, that I am brought up in a society as such, that there are so many wonderful and important things that is naturally inculcated.

Since its National Day, why not put up a post on it? 🙂
THANK YOU SINGAPORE Once again!

I have absolutely no pronounced idea of what “Human Rights” is. Perhaps along the line of the rights that a human being should have. The rights that a human being deserves.

So I googled and came upon this site: United For Human Rights 

Please view the video 🙂 it’s interesting

Wah…… So all that many happenings around the world, really do have a link to each other, it’s about Human Rights.

The Human Rights function started way in 6th Century B.C., through the proclamation of Cyrus, also known as Cyrus Cylinder.

Cyrus Cylinder

Then the Natural Laws of Rome in 27 B.C.

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Multiple Conversations

So… I was involved in this really awkward conversation the other day.
Okay, actually its a series of conversation. 😀

Its not my thing. A little bit of over-stimulation I would say. Cos theres just too many things going on at one time. oh well.. thats just uniquely introvert 😉 none at fault.

It was a table of 5 including me.
At any one time 2 persons or 3 persons would be involved in a conversation.
and while 4 persons were talking about this part of the topic, 1 person will breakout and share with another a different perspective or angle or related part of this topic.

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