Category Archives: Rememberance

Feeling a tad gloomy lately, but still sparkling! :D

Feeling a tad gloomy lately, but still sparkling! 😀
Feeling a tad gloomy lately, but still sparkling! :D

Feeling a tad gloomy these days…

Probably the weather, probably the days ahead, probably the mood swing, probably…..
Don’t know, Dont really care. Just know that I need to snap out of it.
The best way to, is to write to myself, I realise. Reflective exercises are always good. To be set on path, to know and be crystal clear. To Re-centre (as google maps would say) To just be happy and alive. Live life…
Okay, I’m just blabbering already.

Think Amanda is gloomy because its time for change again. I know right… no one likes change. At least not me. Or you know I’m way too comfortable here.

I can still remember the initial year when I came, didnt really share that I was abroad, didnt really reveal where I’m working at – more for the privacy of the children actually. Now, to the stage where I would share photos of location at times. Openly tag my home and the nearby mall location. 🙂 Its been a blissful coming-to-4-years.
Bringing along the need to come up with Character Reference letter and searching for a new job. *sulk*

ok ok enough of being gloomy.

The plans ahead.
I dont know actually. Was suppose to stay on for one more year, but due to changes in certain polices and recent events, just felt that its time to go. To leave here, or at least the school.
I think I might come back to Jakarta to teach. Its a good place – for an expat like me.

I really learnt tons about myself after being here. The beauty of being alone. The tireness of flying alternate weekends at times. The beauty of sleeping 10hours 2 weekdays a week during the PMS season. Understanding the effects of PMS on the body. Understanding what keeps me rooted. Understanding what I want. Understanding that money is not everything.

Which reminded me. I was undecided about whether to stay and finished that 1 year or work that 1 more year in some other countries.

After that recent scam, I know it is imperative that I find love and settle down, soon. 😀 Was telling myself I should go back to Singapore and be available there. Thats the way to be attached and settle down isnt it. But deep in my heart, I was like but back in Singapore, the payscale will not be on par with the current I’m getting…
Then I reminded myself. Money is a powerbase. If you can ignore it, it will not be used against you. You can be set free to do the things that you want to do.
That was a good answer. I feel.

and obviously, by going back to Singapore, it doesnt necessary mean I will be able to “find love and settle down” 😀

But well, It is still one step.

So… 1 more year.. to go or not to go?

Dont know, dont want to know, just keep sending resume I guess. 😀

Any takers? 😀

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless

I think I know the answer..

Do it for myself

Went to do manicure, pedicure today. Couldn’t decide if I wanted to do colours or not since its the begining of school next week. Decided to do colours in the end. Bcos that was the exact same lesson I learnt the previous time I did gelish.
“Do it for yourself. Not anyone, anything else.”

Gelish Red w Glitter

Gelish Red w Glitter

It happened during that scammer season. Met him from online on Week 0. Decided during Week 3 to fly over and celebrate with him on his bday during weekend Week 7.
Planned to go do manicure in preparation for the meetup.
Signed the “investment” contract during Week 6. Supposedly due Week 8 wednesday for decision making. Which is past his bday weekend. Didn’t realise that the contract indicates to not meet during period of investment as I’m the beneficiary and he is the guarantor.

Decided to postpone the visit to week 8, after his bday week as I wld prefer things to be done properly, not violating the investment contract.

That day after school (begining of week 7), as I stood there deciding to go manicure or not (since the trip got postponed), I felt in my heart to do things for myself. Not because I’m going to meet him. But bcos I want to do it for myself. So I went ahead and did my favourite nail colour, red with glitter.

So came week 8, decision making, to cash out or carry on investing. I thought after the decision was made, it’s okay to meet him. Decided to cash out. After the conversation with the finance dept, required to pay tax, he said to finish paying the tax before he would meet me.

That was the weekend when I found out the truth for myself. 🙂 He is not real.

That everything I do, I should do it for myself.

Do it for myself.

He put up a new profile on OkCupid by the way.

OkCupid Scammer

OkCupid Scammer

OkCupid Scammer

OkCupid Scammer

OkCupid Scammer

OkCupid Scammer

Don’t be dumb dumb like me, Ok? 🙂


Thanks for coming by


Be Bless

Everything in it

Was just trying to make a transaction for a backup ticket because I bought the previous ticket’s flight timing too early.

Then it hit me that I’m always not that good with managing money, that silly scam and now this ticket thing…

Maybe I bought the ticket when I was still a little affected by the scam? Maybe I just wanna get home and spend time at home.

I was very upset… and as I sat there trying to decide if I want to gamble with the timing or pay for the backup ticket. I thought to myself “I am not very good with managing my money. No, its not my money, its the Lord’s money. I’m a steward of His money.”

Then it hit me. “and guess what, no lesson is too expensive for the Lord. He just wants to get you there.”

I think as I struggle with money issues, or as some of you do not. 😀 I need to remind myself that everything is a learning lesson, there is no coincidence. Its all God-incidence.

That nothing, no price is too expensive for Him when He wants to get you to what He has planned for you. That final Goal. of the Him in mind.


Praise the Lord!


thanks for coming by

Be Bless

Love Scammed… *tooting* USD Love Scammed

28th October 2017
Hoax? Scam? Out to take advantage?
I dont know, I dont really care anymore. He was verbally abusive. That was all.
Yet another guy that left me with a broken heart. – October Guy

7th September 2017
They dont stop coming do they? Am thankful that this post has been going around and helping people.

This 2nd one I met.
On the site, he indicated UAE. So I asked him what’s he doing there, he said he’s developing a project. I asked him where he’s from, he said woodlands (in SG). Is that true I dont think so.

16 Dec 2016

Got this from the HK police.


Though it’s kinda expected (yar, not surprising abt the fake identity bank account registration), it’s still painful to face it.

Spread the word!!!! Get rid of those irritants!!

Oh, n someone asked abt the LINE Account thing:

Scammer Lippo v1 Scammer Lippo v1b

Scammer Lippo v2a Scammer Lippo v2b
The one in black suit is the current one that he is using. Confirm is targeting those 35 and above.

Thanks for coming by

Be Bless

6 Dec 2016

So, after this post was published, much girls contacted me, Just thought its a good idea to share some of the more active after actions or what I responded to one of the girls.

Thank God you didn’t transfer any funds to him at all. Please do not do that. I believe that he can do nothing about your account number. If I’m not wrong, unless you’ve provided authorization to the bank, the bank is not authorised to release any funds from your account.
1. I suggest you change a bank account number if its within your ability.
2. Inform bank via phone call or a visit to tell them that you did not authorise and should not under any circumstances allow any movement with the next few month (except pre-arranged giro arrangement).

The truth of the matter is, this photo you have, Is definitely not the real guy you are dealing with. They basically screengrab from other guys (even reverse search on google does not show up). One of them even had the opportunity to chat with guys that supposedly worked in the same company, his hoaxed was even able to supply photos of wedding ceremonies that he supposedly attended. They probably went around an collected an archive of life-style photos.
I’ve been in active conversation with plenty of us, being-scammed-ladies to know this. Even the Hong Kong police indicated “Do not send me anymore photos!!” in his email.

(She asked for my hoax’s account number)
They have plenty of account numbers to go around.
I personally transferred to 2 accounts, both were from different HSBC account. Was pending to transfer to the 3rd account when I got my verification from Lippo Securities and decided to called him out bluff. (when I asked him whose account those were, he said its the finance department that arranged it, he isn’t sure).
There was another lady, transferred to 4 different accounts, 3 from HSBC and 1 from another China bank.
There was a single mom (yes, even single mom, they would scam) its another China account too.
So it doesn’t matter the name of account holder or account number.

To help you verify, you may email the company he says he is representing to verify his identity, to find out if he works for that company. That was what I did. (I know it feels as though its distrust, but no. its protecting yourself. You owe it to yourself to figure out)

As you have noticed from my blog, my policy looked really legitimate too. Unfortuantely, it is not. Lippo securities cleanly deny any relationship with my scammer.

I was supposed to fly to Hong Kong to meet him. He managed to postpone and not meet me saying its part of the contract obligation.

The other lady, he was suppose to fly in to SG to meet her, she went to airport to pick him on the actual day, waited for 3 hours, no show. His “colleague” later contacted her to say he was held back by immigration.

The lady with the 4 account numbers, the 4-times transfer were for: 1. Initial investment. 2. Tax payable 3. Stamp and duty fee 4. Overseas outflow fee. – Just sharing how they will cheat you.

So please don’t send him any money. Cease contact is the best option.

I thought I should carry on chatting with him to stall time for the police and get more live information. It took longer than expected time for the police to respond. Its pointless and it is just conditioning our heart to not trust man (worthy man, included).

Again, please don’t send him any money. Cease contact is the best option.

I hope its not too late for you, that you havent already transferred money to the scammer.
There are a few channels for you to report to should you be a victim.
1. Your local (specific to country) police.
2. The country your supposedly scammed policy/investment company is from. – IF its from Hong Kong like in my case, (1) Hong Kong Police and the (2) Securities Future Commission.
3. Your local bank (or the bank you’ve transferred money from)
4. The receiving bank (or the bank you’ve transferred money to)

Do not suffer in silence. Lodge a report. Do something about it. Its important to have paperwork, Leave a trail. In a way, that helps you should there be chances that you could get your money back (although its really low chances since its voluntary transfer). 🙂


As I said on a facebook post, “Whats wrong with the world? One human being scamming another human being.”…

We are all born with different deck of cards. Its what we do with it that matters.


thanks for coming by,


Be Bless,

P/S: Its really disgusting when I see my scammer’s Line account profile photo changing from one to another. Its like using that same number, changing 3 different identities, I wonder scamming how many girls.

PP/S: Its pretty disgusting too, when scammer use a similar userid on 2 separate occasions to message (on the dating site) me. Its either they think I’m really dumb, or they are just out to remind me of how dumb I was.

Peace out.


周宇航 周宇航 周宇航 周宇航 周宇航

so handsome right!!
I know, its like perfect match with me isnt it. One handsome, one pretty.


Well, Love is blind they say. and I am so blind too.
So, I met him from an online dating site and exchange LINE contacts. Didnt really spend time chatting with him initially, cos im not a fan of LINE app, felt theres too much spam of advertising and since majority of my contacts are on watsapp, it didnt matter.
intro_asZYH first_exchange

So he introduced himself as 周宇航 (Zhou Yu Hang), from Hong Kong, handles VIP customers, didnt exactly say which company, I thought that was just for his own internet security. DIdnt bother to pursue and ask. He even shared about his annual pay being certain huge amount, drives a BM 6series because its more safe. He said his English wasnt very good. shared that he is from Xiamen
annual_Pay100wan bmx6 diff_get_leave Englishnogood home_in_xiamen job_intro

We chat for extended period over the days.

He expressed his intention of starting a relationship with me.
The whole idea that at our age we cannot afford to fool around “毕竟嘛,我们这个年龄感情我们是玩不来也伤不起。”, that he felt I’m a nice girl (yes I am), who is filial (yes I am) and was really pushing to start a relationship.
cant afford to play HK_Girls marriage_proposal push for relationship love story act_Blur_Scam

I asked why not HK girls, he looks decent, what happened to previous girlfriend? He shared that HK girls were full of themselves and materialistic, I googled and well, results does point towards that side. Shared saying never to spilt that quarrel is a norm between couples (I bet he will use that in all his relationship conversation) “因为一份爱情肯定要经历碰碰的只有互相支持理解信任才可以度过这些没有一份爱情是不会经历这些碰碰吵吵闹闹的。” I said to at least meet, for all I know he could be a scam, he could be yet another imposter. I argued I need to find out more about his values and principles. He said he felt that I am the one, he doesnt want to miss out. Internally, I was telling myself, he seems nice enough, stable, and well, I’m at work, its difficult for him to apply for leave. We are lovers separated by fate. (my foot).

It was weird that he didnt have a phone that has internet access or with camera functions. I felt that perhaps in his line of work, it didnt really matter. My bff calls him “dodgy guy” straight up (yar, she doesnt remembers their name, but usually gives them label. 😀 helps relate better).

Perhaps because I was lonely, perhaps because he is good with words. Perhaps because his timing was consistent – wake up at 8am+, prepare for meeting around 9:30am+, 12pm+ lunch 1pm+ noon nap, 5:30pm+ get ready to go home, 7pm+ reach home from dinner and stroll, chat till 10pm+ or whenever one is tired and wants to sleep. Saturdays he would sleep in and go hangout with friends, Sunday go gym and lunch or dinner with friends. It was stable, routine and typical of a working adult, ready for next phase of life. I bought in. I was engaged emotionally. I was committed.

So then came the night when he said he had something to share.
That it would do our future well and its a good thing for his career in the company. Saying that since it is internal news within the company, I am not to tell anyone else.
Secrecy investment_pitching816 investment_pitching847 investment_pitching841 investment_pitching837 investment_pitching835 investment_pitching830 investment_pitching826 investment_pitching819

and so begins the investment pitching. That some items on the market are showing symptoms, that this form of investment is calculated based on the 33 groups of shares on the market, bet on it dipping or rising. He went on to explain some technical stuff. Adds on that the company he works for received internal news saying that initial report submission indicates certain trends ahead. That this is a golden opportunity to buy in.

It just so happens that there is this VIP customer that he handles had migrated recently and wanted to close his account. He had not closed the account in time. His superior says to look for someone trustworthy to takeover his position and put in money. Since this is an internal arrangement, it cannot be his family members or close friends. and guess whom he proposed to his superior? JAng Jang Jang! His girlfriend in Singapore.

Me being me, asked him, “All you want is for me to sign right? But I dont have a lot.” then he said, “its okay, take a look at the policy. its 40-80 times return. its okay one, no problem, confirm profit. Its for the good of the two of us.” I protested saying “I dont have so much cash. maybe just a few thousand.” I added, “paying a few thousand to see through a person is very cheap.”

policy2 policy3
His policy (representing Hong Kong Lippo Securities) even seemed legitimate. I said I couldnt sign through my phone, how, he say its okay, this is an internal arrangement, he could sign on my behalf. So I proceed. 22nd July, I did the first transfer. He even asked for screen shots of transfer.


The next weekend, he was out with his friends. It was Sunday afternoon and he asked, “What do woman like?” He explained that since this investment opportunity was granted by his Superior, he would like to visit him at home to express his gratitude. I felt that was legitimate, courteous of him. He said buying a gift for the superior might be alittle awkward, so buying a gift for the wife would be better. So he concluded to buy Bird’s Nest. Thats a great idea. Its sincere and definitely not cheap. He went ahead.

and he came back that night and said the Superior’s wife is very happy with the gift, the Superior propose to increase investment with no further condition.

I protest and said I have no intention to increase. He pushed, because he felt its difficult, awkward to reject his Superior since the Superior was that kind and takes care of him. Me being committed and all. Succumbed… 1st August, I transferred the 2nd amount of money.

I asked him whos account were those that I transferred to? He said he didnt know, it was instructed by finance department. I thought that was fine, since each department does what they had to and it is an internal arrangement afterall.


Initially wanted to fly over to celebrate his birthday during the 5th Aug weekend, but because of the investment, the contract indicates that I (beneficiary) am not suppose to meet him (gurantor). I was very upset and said if I have known, I would not have invested. He argued saying the investment would end on the 10th, promised to meet me on the weekend of the 12th.


So came the following week. 10th Aug. We closed the bid and its time to cash out the profit. I was contacted by a Mr Chen from their finance department. He explained that the investment had a 38 times return, that I was required to pay a 6% tax figure before I could cash out the profit. I was half happy and half in doubt. I asked him to tell me my account number since the profit would be credited to my account. He said he wants to verify with me my account number, asking me, instead to tell him my account number, I insisted, I want him to tell me. He said it was procedural for me to tell him my account. So I told the first 9 digit, and I said for him to tell me the last digit. He couldnt, he said he has much paper work, he needs me to call back in 5mins. I did.

actblur_abttax defending_abt_UOB_unabletorespond finance_number

I went to make noise to the “boyfriend” telling him that I dont have that kind of figure to pay the tax. He asked about the phone conversation. Defended the finance guy and act blur saying he didnt realise that its necessary to pay tax. Its usually between the client and finance department.

came the 11th, I reminded him to pick me up the next day. Lo and Behold, he change his story, and even blew up a little and said if I had understood what he was saying about me cashing out the profit and then we could meet properly. Turns out we were not going to meet as promised.


I was beyond disappointed. I was heartbroken, I cried. Why is it so difficult to go to be near my loved one?

and you know, girls being girls, I already shared with my colleagues that I’m flying out over the weekend to meet that guy, he looks really cute, lives in Central, Hong Kong, drives a BM6series, blah blah blah.
and when they followed up and asked, are you excited about meeting him finally?
I had to explain that I wasnt going to see him. That I am very confused. I explain the situation and colleague said it is dodgy. that she has a friend in Hong Kong, could help me to call up Lippo Securities to verify if he works there.

She did, she helped me sent an email to Lippo Securities to ask if “Zhou Yu Hang” works there. The email came back saying no. I was thinking, nah, he uses Chinese name, the email asked for English name. I should still proceed to make arrangement for the cash out. I would let my boyfriend down and pull down his career and disappoint his Superior too if I didnt proceed.

The colleague said if she were me, she will so bite back with vengeance. I was in a huge dilemma.

The next day, my colleague asked, “so”, “how was it?”. I said I was still going to proceed. I said its a gamble. and no matter the situation, it is just money.
and just as my bff said, “worst case scenario is I get cheated physically and monetary.” I said, no, the worst case scenario is dying.
The colleague asked again, “why are you punishing yourself.” I burst out tearing “I have no answer for you.”

noprofessional_email verification_chen_phonenum

I sent a message asking him for his professional work email. He answered he dont have one as he handles VIP, high privacy profiles. I was so upset, I argued, “Lippo Securities is so big and you are telling me you dont have a professional work email?” I told him my bank needs information of him in-order to proceed with the transfer. He gave me the official name of Lippo Securities and the phone number of the finance guy. I let it hang there. I couldnt make up my mind of whether thats a valid verification or not. It was not requested on behalf of the bank. The bank had no idea yet.

The next day was a Saturday. I didnt take up the invitation to go for a nice dinner with the colleagues. I was still very stuck, to pay or not to pay. There was no peace in my heart. But as the hours past, I decided that I owe it to myself to figure out does he really work for Lippo Securities?
So I sent an email to Lippo Securities for verification with his name in chinese and the exact info-for-verification-use he gave me. That was Friday evening.

So came Saturday, I was still topsy turvy. The previous times I googled for his name, there was no returns, I googled his name and Lippo Securities, there was no returns, I reverse google his photograph, no returns as well. It kinda make sense, he doesnt have a phone with internet line, he doesnt speak English well, he doesnt have a camera. Pretty much legitimate reasons to not have an online profile. My dodgy guy seems legitimate.

Then I googled more keywords, Hong Kong Scam, Lippo Securities Scam, Securities Scam. Lo and Behold (again) I found the exact same investment pitching on the forum that scam victim contribute to.


I burst out laughing at the situation. I got scammed. So *tooting* scamed. USD… scammed. *toot*. I lied on my bed and began texting the girls that knew about my possible relationship. I talked it out with my girls.
I was pretty much 70% sold on the idea that I got scammed. But I insisted, I want to hear from Lippo Securities that he and the finance guy do not work for them.

I waited.

Came Monday.


Jang Jang Jang!

So I stayed back after school to put together a proper report and lodged a Singapore Police Report, multiple banks report. Thats it. I hope my form of coming back with vengence would nip them in some parts of their butt.

So, I dont think, the photo is him, the name is his real name. But these I notice.

1. Its definitely organised crime. He could build a daily routine, he has finance department personnel, he has policy documents, he has a fix story that he has used. He knows the words to use.

2. Note to self and to other ladies out there, he uses the same persuasive text saying in all relationships there will be conflicts and hits, not to give up just like that. “毕竟嘛,我们这个年龄感情我们是玩不来也伤不起。” and “因为一份爱情肯定要经历碰碰的只有互相支持理解信任才可以度过这些没有一份爱情是不会经历这些碰碰吵吵闹闹的。”

3. Please note these 2 contact numbers in-case it comes up 0085251364159, 0085260984813

4. English language and data connectivity is almost necessity in order to earn money in Hong Kong.

5. Verification is just an email away. (If only I had done it earlier)

6. Talk to people close to you if its a matter thats keeping you all stuffy in your chest (not talking about boobs), talking about the part that my colleague asked one question and I burst out crying. Its that emotional pressure. Once you feel it, let it out, speak about it. That was my turning point.

7. Yup, crisis is the time where you see friends who trust you (its complicated, not gonna share too much).

So after all was said and done, I confronted him. He flat out deny. Asking why am I so stupid? Why would Lippo Securities reveal their VIP staff to members of public. He asked me where did I get that “similar story” from? Notice that what he is doing is trying to get the sources that root him out? I didnt provide my source of course. I concluded that I wouldnt be paying. He carried on saying why I am I so stupid to believe others and not him, why can I not see from his point of view. Why I gave up that huge some of profit. Nothing about his career being affect. I didnt respond.
and guess what.

He sent an ultimatium. “Remember those photos you sent me?”

WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL (nope, my face was not in them, nope its content is none of your business)

Well, as sextortion experiences would tell you. Ignore. Absolutely.
I ignore.

and he texted “Are you not going to respond to me?”
indeed USD…. to see through a person is very cheap. More than that, I learnt to be smarter. You learn from my experience. I learnt who trust me. I learnt how to approach banks in situations as such. I learnt that I am… a KEYBOARD WARRIOR.

HAHAHAHA! FYI, I played a pun on keyboard warrior. Its a negative indication. But obviously in this case its a good thing.

Okay, I’ve refunded my airflight ticket to Hong Kong, I’ve reported to the various banks and police, I’ve blogged about this. I think this is closure. 🙂

I can move on happily now. 🙂
thanks for coming by
Be Bless

Whatever that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

It’s been a season of head-over-heels, back-breaking, sleep-deprived, responsibilities-overload, Ridiculous-complaints, but patience-growing, body-understanding, spine-alignment, better-health and death-defying season.

😀 damn drama, this Amanda.
Seriously, these words cannot even begin to describe what I have gone through these 2 months.

Started with the chiropractic treatment, turns out I have non-textbook categorized scoliosis (basically it’s not so bad that it cld categorize as that, but neither is it so mild that it’s negligible), I have 2 2nd phase degeneration (takes over 10yrs to develop) (a bit too young for that) misalignment in the spinal area between my shoulder blades and lower back (think slipped disc). my neck is a little too straight for my own good.
That means, I need to stop wearing heels so that the 50yrs old will thank me. need to go for adjustment 3 times a week for first 3mths n whatever follows follows, which amounts to nerve hyper-sensitivity, which I felt caused the REM images to be so vivid, and light sleep becomes consciousness (for the past 2 months). I have no life, n as a form of therapy, the heart wld induce the body to cook (for others) therefore further reducing rest time (cooking! the marketing, the cleaning, the smell.. heavenly but not good for a open concept studio, at the same time)

on and we top it up with demands at work. well, everyone faces them. except that this happen to be a real tight semester w Prefects training n investiture at the same season. did I mention about how effective and on time some Indonesian ppl are? but well, the training went fine, the investiture was over, many thanks to great people that are involved.

the usually don’t come at all PMS hormones swing that is regulating and therefore pretty on-the-ball these 2mths? nobody likes to deal with hyper-happiness in the mind on 1 day (bcos the events for that day went well, PRAISE THE LORD!) and tearing the next bcos the family members n loved ones of the finalist for master chef came n visit (so touching! u know! family support! how long have they not seen each other and how much it meant to them. … )

oh, did I mention the still-unknown cause of the inflammation/rash at the back of the left knee, thigh? cld have been the seats of the flight, or attack frm “tomcat” insect, known to have caused death, w poison 12 times more potent than snake bites.  the traumatizing effects of seeing a muscular, well-sculpt female leg (nice thigh n calves btw) plague with a bigger than palm-sized, ugly, red-black-peeling-dark grey patch. yes, I absolutely love my legs. but praise the Lord, besides the discoloration it’s not giving me any problems now.

pic1of3 pic2of3 pic3of3

all these…

and frequent flying, of 6 times in that 2 months. I really don’t like flying, but I’ve found ways to cope w it.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Wanted to do the Serenity Prayer for the longest time. set it as my wallpaper.
I knew that the thigh is pretty much the only reasonable space for the next tattoo.
didnt get around to doing it bcos I was thinking, next time cellulite develops, it will look bad..

with that patch, forget it man, there’s no uglier thing that could happen to my legs. so there we are!
even had a whole dilemma to put leopard or not, same, it’s something I wanted. but obviously didn’t happen.

it’s the term break, since I’m not going anywhere (other countries/state as a holiday break) I really should do something that I had wanted to do. 🙂

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference.”

I wonder how old I wld be when the next finds itself on me. From the mind to the body.

thanks for coming by.

Be Blessed

p/s: did I mention I’m doing dental braces, next? 😀 sure am thankful I am fit n strong, not weak and dainty.

Addressing self-doubt

What if.. I am actually not that awesome, that capable as I thought I am?
Or that I don’t have that kind of social circle that has those kind of suitable candidates/match?

Yes no doubt I have more initiative and intuition than some people around me.
But just how much should these standards matter?

Theres this guy, he responded with his opinions really strongly, absolutely brushes off mine as a waste of time and is bullcrap, he’s an entrepreneur. so he says.

I let him be and my take was, he just didn’t understand the need to run with the conversation and converse on a surface level first and then take the conversation to the next level.

As I think back, it really begs the question, just how much does my talents worth to attract the kind of man that I’m looking at? Are they available to see it?

What if my talents are not good enough for them?
What if there aint no such guys around this social circle of mine?

Would it be good then, to not insist on maintaining the standards?
Would it be good then to just accept what they can live by and keep my standards for myself?
Just be me and accept them as they are?

How much is too much? How much is enough? How much is good? How much is not enough?

I am awesome and capable to the eyes of some, what about the others?
How much consistency is there in these capabilities?

Sometimes answering self-doubt is necessary to go further and grow deeper…

If all my conversations and dialogues were no longer based on honest output, no buttering and beating around the bush, and that I have to keep certain details to myself, would that still be genuine? would that still be authentic?

Would that still be me?

am I even able to achieve that in the first place?

while the assumption is that my introversion would discourage the change, is there not a solution to it?

Need a little touch from heaven,
or as babies develop further after running and recovering from a fever…
or just someway to grow, get over and matured through it.


thanks for coming by

Be Bless

2014 Roundup

*gasped. I didnt round-up my 2013 and neither did I round-up my 2012.
Is that possible? Why yes, of course. Its already history. *aha!

I guess the past 3 years have been really hectic thats why there wasnt a summary. But fear not, future me! at least we have the 2014 one.

2014 is def a year of understanding self and greater discovery. *which year isnt right? 😀

January 2014, according to the post on 29th Dec 2013, I was blogging about shoes and dresses. Thats a sign of a happy me. Which I guess is not surprising since I must have settled in, into the 18sqm unit in the new work location. January is probably also the time when theres floods over there and preparation for Chinese New Year.

Its such a wonderful opportunity to have been taken over to live and work in another country where expenses are not as high and I can really do and focus on what I love.

Skipped over Feb, Mar and Apr and on to

Late May, early few days of June was house moving. The first time I experience Gastric and also the first time I take over an apartment as my own. The balcony was horrendous. 😀 check it (see below)


From this 18sqm studio



I moved into this 36sqm studio



the horrendous but stupendous and all important balcony

Albums: “Jakarta Adventure” and “tt home

If you fly as often as I do, you will know how it feels when you come back to a place that belongs to you. That you came home.

Came home

Came home


June is the fabulous month where I came back to Singapore, celebrated my birthday in my homeland, stayed over at MBS and visited the Aquarium. That aquarium visit is spectaular, cos I was talking about it since the year before and with someone, so much emotional attachment with it. But its over so its good. Its when you finally do it, it became a completed item, and whatever that was or could be, shouldnt matter anymore.

July was the beginning of a school year, somehow, I just recovered from the hectic and hurtful past, healed and began to write about it.

and of course a happy August when the BFF came over to visit and I totally missed SG’s national day celebration.

September was a stretching month. Its a lot of ground works for a new portfolio. Seems like the talents are all peeking out of the bag, getting recognise.

October!  Probably its bcos its been a full year of senseless flying and no holiday (going new places) I went Bali~~~~~~~~~~ . Canggu, not Kota or Seminyak.
I realize that the name of a holiday destination is never the name of the place that I thought I would be visiting. “Bali” when actually its famed for Kota, “Krabi” when its actually famed for Ao Nang and of cos to its neighbouring Phi Phi islands. Like WHAT???????????????? lol its a good trip nonetheless

November, its complicated. 😀 Parents came to visit in the new place and we had much good food and checking places out. I got back onto online dating, and boy what a mess it was.

December, taDA! I’m back in Singapore and loving it. This is going to be the longest holiday yet.

I think all in all, this is absolutely a year of understanding myself. Understanding what is introversion and how does this introvert love to spend her time. The amount of stimulation and how I would react to it.

They say going on a trip alone is fascinating, they say it takes strength to eat alone, well, *shrugs* I wonder what they say about being an expat? 😀

Yes, I do admire expats. 😀
But erm…

Expats are...

Expats are…

I guess everyone has their own opinion.

If we dont look at my personal life, theres still a few here and there to recover from 2014

1. Steve Jobs is great, but lets put that aside. Theres always 2 sides to a person.
2. I realize so many people around me are just huge liars, going back on their words, but I have also learnt to accept them and not correct them anyway. Just associate with them less.
3. Dont listen to those that are severely hurt by divorce and its proceedings. Relationships and being in one is still a journey and a beautiful thing.

I still believe and look forward to being in a relationship. Yes I am still single, still strong-headed, still learning about myself everyday.

Looking forward to 2015.


thanks for coming by
*muack muack!

Be Bless

That Queer Feeling


I woke up this morning and in a state of semi-consciousness, I got reminded of a kid… one of the students I taught in the first class I took in JKT. Those really smart kids.

Shes the one that led a cake-in-a-cup activity during Home Economics CCA, shes also the one that got it bad from me bcos of a April Fool’s prank. She apologize immediately after the class-lecture about the trick.

April Fool’s day, perhaps kids will put stuff on the chair, behind the door whatever whatever.
If its something minor thats fine.
But this team..

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That crush..

That crush… *giggle giggle giggle*
Yes I do giggle in real life. So not my age right…. ar.. well…

I have absolutely no intention to tell him, cos its obviously a season thing. Don’t know why? You got to read the previous entry.

Anyway, I was cooking and a thought came to me…
I should tell him what I like about him, what got me attracted?
Then it hit me, I shouldn’t.. 😀 cos its gonna be awkward, no matter how matured we are at handling it.
and of course Amanda has changed. 🙂 I would do it in the past, but I’m not val now. 🙂

It hit me. Its actually a very beautiful to do, to share with another about why you like him or her.
Cos really, how many persons in this world would spend time, attention, energy and just appreciate a person for who he/she is?

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Human Rights

Happy 49th Birthday SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!

Was just walking passed the TV when I heard about Human Rights violation in Gaza and the various happenings.

I felt an overwhelming sense of gratefulness that I’m in Singapore, that I am brought up in a society as such, that there are so many wonderful and important things that is naturally inculcated.

Since its National Day, why not put up a post on it? 🙂

I have absolutely no pronounced idea of what “Human Rights” is. Perhaps along the line of the rights that a human being should have. The rights that a human being deserves.

So I googled and came upon this site: United For Human Rights 

Please view the video 🙂 it’s interesting

Wah…… So all that many happenings around the world, really do have a link to each other, it’s about Human Rights.

The Human Rights function started way in 6th Century B.C., through the proclamation of Cyrus, also known as Cyrus Cylinder.

Cyrus Cylinder

Then the Natural Laws of Rome in 27 B.C.

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